Are You Honoring Your Intuition?

“There is a voice that speaks without words. Listen.” – Rumi One day last year, I re-read the Year by the Water manifesto that was downloaded to me while driving along California’s Pacific Coast Highway. It reminded me that my original plan was to not plan every minute of every day. I vowed to do the “opposite of my always” and cooperate with what wanted to happen instead of control it.

I was in Tampa and was scheduled to take a train to Savannah where I was speaking in a few days. However, a little voice whispered in my ear, “You don’t have to take the train. There are no options on trains. If you see something intriguing, too bad, so sad. You can't get off and explore, you just whiz on by. Why not drive?”

I cancelled the train and started driving. Instead of planning the day and locking myself into a hotel reservation, I decided, "I'm going to make it up as I go along so I'm free to follow up on whatever catches my interest." Here's a replay of what happened.

I check the map to see what’s ahead. Wow. Marineland, the world’s first oceanarium and the first in the United States to offer a dolphin encounter, is 89 miles away in St. Augustine. I’ve always wanted to swim with dolphins. Here’s my chance. I call and ask, “Any openings for this afternoon?”

They do, which is how a couple hours later, I find myself swimming with Zach The Dolphin. What a thrill to get in the water, meet Zach face to face, stroke his rubbery skin and look him in the eye.

There’s only three of us in our group so our guide turns it into a mini-training session. She asks, “Would you like to give Zach a command?”

“Would I like to give Zach a command?!”

She tells me, “Point your finger to the sky.”

I do and Zach stands on his tail and zooms across the pool. He swims back for his reward, gulps it down in one swallow and waits, eyes bright, for what’s next.

The trainer says, “This time, circle your finger three times.”

I point my finger to the sky and twirl it three times. Zach nods, takes off, dives deep and then LEAPS out of the water into a triple back flip.

I can’t help myself. I thrust both arms up in an exultant Y (think Y-M-C-A.) I am filled with wonder, gratitude and excitement, all at the same time.

And to think, I didn’t even know Zach existed a few hours before! This wouldn't have happened if I hadn't honored my instincts and acted on that whim. What is a whim? It’s a “Sudden desire or change of mind, especially one that is unusual, unexplained.”

However I believe whims are more than a "sudden desire or change of mind." They may seem “out of the blue,” but I believe they happen for a reason - a good reason.

Here’s what I mean. I saw security consultant Gavin de Becker, author of The Gift of Fear, interviewed on TV. He told the reporter that debriefing people who had been assaulted revealed something profound. When he asked them, “Did you have any warning?” guess what they all said? “I knew something was wrong.”

Their gut had warned them they were in danger, but they let their intellect over-ride their instincts. They looked around and thought, “It’s broad daylight. I’m in an armored car. There's people around. I’m being silly.” They discounted their sixth sense.

I think many of us discount our sixth sense. We get these intuitive nudges, these alerts, but we ignore them. Or we get whims, but we’re too busy to follow up on them.

My epiphany was, “If we have instincts that alert us when something’s about to go wrong; don’t we also have instincts that alert us when something’s about to go right?”

If we have a sixth sense that alerts us to dissonance (something to avoid) don't we also have a sixth sense that alerts us to resonance (something to approach)?

I’ve come to believe that when something breaks through our filter and catches our attention – for better or for worse – we're supposed to pay attention. If our gut instincts tell us this situation is toxic, we're supposed to head the other direction. If our gut instincts tell us this is a congruent opportunity, we're supposed to head toward it.

Louis Pasteur said, “Chance favors the prepared mind.” In my experience, chance favors the aligned mind. If I get a whim that’s in alignment with my instincts and interests, I pursue it. Every time I do, I am delighted with a beneficial discovery I wouldn’t have experienced otherwise.

Whims aren’t an accident. They are not simply a coincidence, blind luck or serendipity. Beats-the-odds opportunities are a sign the universe is showing off. It is working overtime to connect you with someone or something that will enhance your life. Whims are your best future meeting you halfway.

Dr. Wayne Dyer said, “If prayer is you talking to God, intuition is God talking to you.”

Do you honor your instincts? Your sixth sense? Do you listen to the voice that doesn’t use words – or do you over-rule your intuition with your intellect, logic and rationale? Do you ignore whims or promise yourself you’ll follow up on them “later?”

That's a mistake. These aligned opportunities won’t be there later. They are a sublime confluence of you being in the right place at the right time, right here, right now.

Roald Dahl said, "Those who don't believe in magic will never find it."

From now on, honor your instincts, act on your whims. Understand your intuition is trying to do you a favor. It has your best interests at heart.

It is doing its half. All it asks is that you do your part to meet your best future halfway.

When you believe this and do this, magic shows up - and your life just keeps getting better and better and better.

- - -

Sam Horn, CEO of the Intrigue Agency, is on a mission to help people create a quality life-work that adds value for all involved. Her TEDx talk on INTRIGUE and books - POP!, Tongue Fu!, and Washington Post bestseller Got Your Attention? - have been featured in NY Times, Forbes, INC and presented to NASA, Intel, Cisco,YPO & EO. Like Sam to speak at your next conference? Contact Cheri@IntrigueAgency.com

What If We're Here to Connect the Dots?

“You can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. You have to trust the dots will somehow connect in your future.” – Steve Jobs Steve Jobs was brilliant. And I disagree with him on this.

I think we can connect the dots looking forward and backwards.

And we can do more than trust the dots to connect in the future.

We can act on dots to create a better future – for ourselves and for others.

Here’s what I mean.

We’re being sent dots all the time.

Dots are experiences, opportunities, ideas and individuals.

Our role is to pay attention to them and look for patterns.

We’re supposed to collect the dots, connect the dots, and act on the dots.

When we do, pictures emerge. Pictures that make sense.

Remember those “Connect the Dots” coloring books we had growing up?

Each page had a random collection of numbered dots. The goal was to connect them. When we did, a picture emerged. Voila! It’s a cat. It’s a cloud. It’s a car.

I think the same thing happens in our life when we connect “dot thoughts.” A picture emerges that wasn’t clear before, that all of a sudden makes sublime sense.

For example, two years ago, Inga Canfield introduced me to a writing colleague Kristen Moeller.

Kristen found out I was visiting Boulder asked if I knew Erin Weed, who runs a speaker training company called Evoso. I didn’t so Kristen introduced us.

Erin and I had a delightful connection and have stayed friends. Last month, she got in touch with a question.

When I emailed Erin back, on impulse, I added a sentence saying, “I’ll be back in Boulder this summer. Know anyone who’s looking to rent near Wonderland Lake Park?”

Erin got back five minutes later to say a good friend – a fellow speaker/author – had a place near Wonderland Lake Park and was looking for a tenant.

What are the odds, right?

I immediately followed up (dots have a window of opportunity, we’re supposed to act on them in the moment as soon as they come to our attention) and connected me with her friend, Debra.

Debra Silverman and I hit it off. Now I’ve got a wonderful new friend (and simpatico professional colleague) and a marvelous place to stay this summer, right where I hoped to be.

You can’t make this stuff up.

You can only pay attention to the dots and honor them when they show up.

In particular,“dot thoughts” that come to us out of the blue. As in, “Add a sentence to the end of your email asking Erin if she has a rental referral.”

We’re supposed to act on “dot thoughts” even if they don’t make sense. Especially if they don’t make sense.

Because “dot thoughts” aren't coming from logic, they’re coming from a sixth sense.

You can call these “dot thoughts” anything you want. Providence. God. The Universe. Divine inspiration. Gut instincts. Angels. God winks. Nudges.

I think they are our best future meeting us halfway.

One of the most important lessons learned form my Year by the Water is that when we honor and act on dot thoughts, kismet shows up.

Or what I like to call SerenDestiny.

SerenDestiny is a charmed life where the light is on in our eyes because we’re connected with congruent individuals and activities.

I have a theory about this.

We’re not in this alone.

It’s hubris to think we’re the only ones creating and/or controlling our destiny.

Here’s what crystallized my clarity about this.

I was watching a TV interview with security consultant Gavin deBecker, author of The Gift of Fear.

Gavin told the reporter that he makes it a practice to debrief people who have been assaulted, hijacked or kidnapped.

His first question to them is, “Did you have any warning?”

Guess what they all say? “I knew something was wrong.”

But the vast majority allowed their intellect to over-ride their instincts.

They didn’t see anything “wrong” so they dismissed their fears.

They thought, “It’s broad daylight. There’s no one around” or “I’m in an armored car with bodyguards. What could happen?” and over-ruled the sixth sense that was trying to protect them.

As he described these instincts that warn us when something’s about to go wrong, I thought, “Doesn’t it also make sense that we have instincts that warn us when something’s about to go right?

If we have a sixth sense that alerts us to dissonance, don’t we also have a sixth sense that alerts us to resonance and congruence?”

I believe our instincts and intuition have our best interests at heart.

Just as they alert us to individuals, ideas, and activities that are “wrong” for us, they also alert us to individuals, ideas and activities that are “right” for us.

When we honor our resonant sixth sense alerts, we are led to congruent people and opportunities we would not have met or experienced otherwise.

So, what’s the point?

If you want a life that transcends what you think it can be, what you can logically make it to be, start looking for congruent dots, start acting on resonant dots.

When you act on “dot thoughts” that nudge you to connect with this person, write out this idea, act on this opportunity, seek out this experience, a picture will emerge.

A picture of a charmed life that is better than you could have thought up yourself.

A life of SerenDestiny where you’re connecting with congruent individuals, experiences and opportunities that create a life that just keeps getting better and better.

Because you’re not doing this alone. You’re dancing with life.

So, yes, Steve, we can connect dots looking backwards and forward.

I met Inga, who connected me with Kristen, who connected me with Erin, who connected me with Debra, who connected me with this divine new home. I am grateful for those dots.

Now it’s time to do my turn. To connect those dots looking forward. To do my half to thank the other half.

I can do that by initiating and introducing dots to others.

By sending dots - opportunities, ideas, individuals and experiences - to other people so they can create a future that’s better than they could have imagined.

Collecting, connecting and contributing dots creates a rising tide raising all involved.

It’s a way to do our part and to become a part of a congruent circle of life.

And yes, we can do this in our personal life and in our professional life.

In our personal life, instead of waiting for opportunities to come to us, we can initiate interactions with simpatico individuals and align with opportunities that will create a better quality of life for all involved.

In our professional life, instead of being passive, we can proactively envision and initiate connections with and for clients and colleagues.

Starting today, keep your antenna up. Look around. What dots are trying to get your attention? How will you honor and act on them to set your SerenDestiny in motion?

How will you honor what is being contributed to you - and gift it back by creating and contributing dots to others?

Freedom to Drive

On this July 4th weekend, may we be grateful for our freedoms. May we take a moment to really think about all the many things we’re free to do and send up thanks for them.

Of the many freedoms we have, my Year by the Water has given me multiple opportunities to revel in one of the most precious; the ability to travel freely, the ability get up and GO … without asking permission, without being regulated, without being told NO.

One of the first times I really became aware of how rare this is, and how many of us take it for granted (and shouldn’t) happened in the middle of a blizzard in the mountains by Yosemite.

We had booked a cabin at a family lodge that had ping pong, group dining, a huge fireplace, board games, and supposedly, snowshoeing and sledding.

Since we lived in Maui at the time, playing in the snow was a big draw for Tom and Andrew, who were about six and eight. What we hadn’t counted on was bad weather that kept us inside most of our time there.

One night, we were gathered in the main lodge and the front desk manager was really worried. A couple who were supposed to check in that afternoon still hadn’t arrived, and it was getting late. The manager was concerned their car might have gone off the narrow, windy road or gotten stuck.

Finally, with a gust of wind, the door opened and the couple walked in, much to everyone's relief.

I was standing by the desk while they explained they had gotten lost. But, and here’s the part that made a lasting impression on me, they didn’t panic because they were in America! They were originally from RUSSIA.

In Russia, if they wanted to make a long trip, they’d have to give their itinerary to the authorities. If they didn’t made a checkpoint at a certain time, they would come under suspicion, perhaps even be arrested. Here in America, they didn’t fear something bad would happen to them simply because they'd become lost. They felt safe.

Wow.

That memory floated back to me yesterday while driving through the glorious Smoky Mountains during Golden Hour … and listening to the final show of A Prairie Home Companion.

President Obama called in to give Garrison Keillor a well-deserved shout-out for his 42 years of story-telling that’s “made us all a little more humane.”

When asked what he was looking forward to when he’s out of office, Obama talked longingly of getting in a car without the Secret Service and GOING FOR A DRIVE on California’s Pacific Coast Highway.

Exactly.

See, going for a drive is a “satisfied need.” Abraham Maslow said that once a need is satisfied – whether it’s a survival need like having food, water and shelter – or a community need like family and friends – it is no longer a motivator. We tend to overlook it, take it for granted. We don't miss it until we no longer have it.

The freedom to get in a car and just take off - anytime, anywhere, with anyone - is something we usually don’t even think about. In fact, if we think about it at all, it’s usually to complain about the traffic, the weather, or “Are we there yet?”

This weekend, if you get in a car to head to the beach, the mountains, a community or national park to celebrate with family and friends, instead of thinking how hot it is or complaining how long it takes to get where you want to go - could you instead look around and MARVEL at what it really means to have the freedom, independence and luxury to drive where you want, when you want?

As I travel this great country of ours, I am amazed and impressed with its beauty, its variety, its abundance.

Our freedoms do not deserve to be taken for granted. They deserve our attention, respect and appreciation. Happy 4th of July weekend.

Honor the Nudges

"There is a voice that speaks without words. Listen." - Rumi I re-read my Year by the Water manifesto that was downloaded to me while driving along California's Pacific Coast Highway. And I'm reminded that my original plan was to not plan every minute of every day. I had promised to do the "opposite of my always" and cooperate with what wanted to happen instead of control it.

Hmm. I'm in Tampa and I'm supposed to take an overnight train to Savannah where I'll be speaking in a few days.

However, a little voice whispers in my year, "You don't have to take the train. There are no options on trains. If you see something intriguing, too bad, so sad. You don’t have freedom to get off and explore it. You just whiz on by. Why not drive?"

Sounds good. I cancel the train and start driving. Instead of locking myself into a hotel reservation for that night, I decide to make it up as I go and respond to whatever catches my interest.

I check the map to see what's ahead. Wow. Marineland, the world’s first oceanarium and the first in the United States to offer a dolphin encounter, is 89 miles away in St. Augustine. I've always wanted to swim with dolphins. Here's my chance. I call and ask, "Any openings for this afternoon?"

They do, which is how a couple hours later, I find myself swimming with Zach The Dolphin. What a thrill to get in the water, meet Zach face to face, stroke his rubbery skin and look him in the eye.

There's only three of us in our group so our guide turns it into a mini-training session. She asks, “Would you like to give Zach a command?”

"Would I like to give Zach a command?!"

She tells me, “Point your finger to the sky.”

I do as she says. Zach stands on his tail and zooms across the pool.

He swims back for his fish treat and waits, eyes bright, for what's next.

The trainer says, “This time, circle your finger three times."

I point my finger to the sky and twirl it three times. Zach takes off, dives deep,then LEAPS out of the water into a triple back flip.

I can't help myself. I thrust both arms into the air in an exultant Y (think Y-M-C-A.)

The unexpectedness of it all fills me with joy. I didn't even know Zach existed a few hours before!

This never would have happened if I'd locked myself into a pre-determined destination that would have put blinkers on my day. This delightful discovery happened because I honored my instincts and left room for whims.

What is a whim? It's a "Sudden desire or change of mind, especially one that is unusual, unexplained."

I believe whims are more than a sudden change of mind. They may seem "out of the blue," but I believe these serendipitous experiences happen for a reason. They are our best future meeting us halfway.

Here's what I mean. I saw security consultant Gavin de Becker, author of The Gift of Fear, interviewed on TV. He told the reporter he learned something profound after debriefing people who had been assaulted or kidnapped. His first question to them was, "Did you have any warning?"

Guess what they all said? "I knew something was wrong." Their gut told them they were in danger, but they let their intellect over-ride their instincts. They looked around and thought, "It's broad daylight. I'm in an armored car. I'm being silly." They discounted their sixth sense.

I think a lot of us discount our sixth sense. We honor our intellect instead of our instincts. We get these intuitive nudges, these alerts, but we ignore them. Or we get whims, but we're too busy to follow up on them.

My epiphany was, "If we have instincts that alert us when something's about to go WRONG; don't we also have instincts that alert us when something's about to go RIGHT?"

If we have a sixth sense that alerts us to DISSONANCE (something to avoid, run from) doesn't it also alert us to RESONANCE (something to approach, head towards)?

I've come to believe that when something catches our attention - for better or for worse - we need to pay attention. If our gut instincts are telling us this situation is toxic, head the other direction. If our gut instincts are telling us this is a congruent opportunity, head toward it.

Louis Pasteur said, "Chance favors the prepared mind." I believe chance favors the aligned mind. I have learned, that is I get a whim that's in alignment with my instincts and interests, I should carve out time to pursue it. Every time I do, I am delighted with a congruent discovery I wouldn't have experienced otherwise.

Whims aren't an accident. They are not simply a coincidence, blind luck or serendipity. The universe is showing off. It is working overtime to connect you with someone or something that will enhance your life. Whims are your best future meeting you halfway.

Dr. Wayne Dyer said, "If prayer is you talking to God, intuition is God talking to you."

Do you honor your instincts? Your sixth sense? Do you listen to the voice that doesn't use words - or you over-rule your intuition with your intellect, logic or reason? Do you ignore whims or promise yourself you'll follow up on them "later?"

These aligned opportunities won't be there later. They are a sublime confluence of you being in the right place at the right time, right here, right now.

Ram Dass says, "Our plans never turn out as TASTY as reality."

Agreed.

From now on, choose to partner with life instead of trying to plan every minute of it.

Act on your instincts. Listen to the whims. Understand nudges, whims and instincts are trying to do you a favor. They have your best interests at heart. Honor them.