Too Busy to be Happy?

Did you know a Harris Poll reports only 31% of Americans say they’re happy? An exhausted business owner told me yesterday, "I'm too busy to be happy."

I told him, "Please rethink that. Happiness doesn't take TIME, it takes ATTENTION."

How about you? Would you say you’re happy?

I've discovered something surprising - and saddening - in my interviews with hundreds of people in the last few years for my upcoming book SOMEDAY is Not a Day in the Week.

Many people feel they have too much going on to be happy. They have too many responsibilities, too many to-do's. They just don’t have the time.

That entrepreneur told me, “My wife and I work full-time in our business and we have two kids with special needs. We go non-stop seven days a week. Maybe someday I’ll be happy. I don’t see that in the near future.”

Ouch.

What I’ve learned is that whether or not you describe yourself as “happy” depends a lot on how you define it. (More on that here.)

It also depends on whether you feel you have time for it.

Please understand, happiness doesn’t have to be “happy, happy, joy, joy" like that Peanuts cartoon image of Snoopy leaping in the air, clicking his heels (paws?) and doing a happy dance. It can mean:

* feeling peaceful, content, satisfied.

* being present and quietly grateful to be alive.

* looking at the person you’re with – or the people you’re around – and being really glad to have them in your life.

* getting up from your chair, going outside for a moment and reveling in your health and freedom of movement.

* connecting with an idea, song or painting and marveling at humanity’s artistry.

In other words, happiness doesn’t take time, it takes attention.

When I asked that young dad whether he kept a gratitude journal (which a Harvard study shows is a shortcut to happiness), he said “You don’t get it. Our sons wake up several times a night. We never get more than five hours of sleep and we’re going from the moment we get up to the moment we go to bed. Who’s got time??”

I nodded, “I understand that adding anything to your maxed-out life isn’t an option. What if, instead of counting your blessings, you started noticing them? The first one takes time, the second one doesn’t.”

He told me, “It’s worth a try.”

Agreed. Happiness is worth a try.

Is your life maxed out? Are you going from the moment you wake up to the moment you go to bed? Do you tell yourself you’ll be happy someday when you’re not so busy?

Please understand, you don’t need more time to be happy.

You’ll never have more time than you have right now.

Stop wishing you had more time and start paying more attention.

The happiness you seek is available any time you want … for a moment’s notice.

You can be happier and more grateful right here, right now at a moment’s notice and in a moment’s notice.

All you need to do is to be more alert to, and appreciative of, what’s right with your world instead of what’s wrong.

You don’t even have to COUNT your blessings. All you have to do is NOTICE them.

- - -

Sam Horn, CEO of the Intrigue Agency and TEDx speaker, - is on a mission to help people create a quality life-work that adds value for all involved. Her books - Tongue Fu! POP! and Washington Post bestseller Got Your Attention? - have been featured in NY Times, Forbes and on NPR and taught to Boeing, Intel, ASAE, Cisco, Accenture, NASA. Want Sam to speak to your group? Contact Cheri@intrigueAgency.com

Day Right Quote #52: There Is No Such Thing As an Ordinary Day

Dan Millman and his book "Path of the Peaceful Warrior" was one of our favorite author-speakers at the Maui Writers Conference. His insight, "There is no such thing as an ordinary day" is as true today as it was 15 years ago.

It reminds me of the powerful line from Thornton Wilder's play "Our Town."

Emily, the lead character, has passed but gets to return home one last time. She watches her mother wash the dishes in the kitchen and realizes she never appreciated the little things - a normal day - while she had the chance.

She asks poignantly, "Do any human beings ever realize life while they live it?"

So often we don't. We get swept up in busyness, rushing here, there and everywhere.

However, we are here now. It is not too late.

Look around right now and imprint this day. Really see your surroundings as if for the first or last time.

Drink in the sheer miracle of being alive - of being able to breathe, feel, hear, taste, touch, love, experience.

A moment of grace and deeply felt gratitude is a moment's notice away.

Day Right Quote #12: There Is More to Life Than Increasing Its Speed

Gandhi was right. There IS more to life than increasing its speed. Many of us are working, working, working, rushing, rushing, rushing.

We're heading into a spring weekend.

Instead of going for a run, workout or power walk to get your heart rate UP, could you go for a stroll instead?

The trees are budding.The flowers are blossoming. Breathe it all in.

Appreciation for the miracles that surround us is available anytime we want ... for a moment's NOTICE.

Day Right Quote #2: Every Day Counts

I remember talking with Dan Millman about his book "Way of the Peaceful Warrior" at the Maui Writers Conference.

Part of the book's story was his search for an original idea. He came up with "There is no such thing as an ordinary day."

Agreed. So this thought is not original, it is heartfelt.

EVERY DAY COUNTS. There are no throw-away days.

Have a lot to do today? Take a moment in the midst of your rushing to stop, look around and say "Thank you."

If we don't pause, imprint and appreciate each day - we can miss our life.

Feeling Grateful

Giving thanks isn't just for Thanksgiving. Research by Harvard shows it's not happiness that makes us grateful; it's gratefulness that makes us happy. So, why limit giving thanks to just one day a year? As Walt Whitman said, "To feel gratitude and not express it, is like wrapping a present and not giving it."

Many people have a tradition of unwrapping presents that have been stashed under a Christmas tree. The real presents aren't under the tree. The real presents are the moments we take to express our appreciation for our health, freedom and loved ones.

As this evocative image asks, "What if we woke up today with only the things we were thankful for?"

So it is as I wrap up 2016, I am filled with gratitude for this year that was filled with abundance in all its many forms.

I want to share my favorite quotes to remind us a gratitude mindset is the single best thing we can do to improve our quality of life. Feel free to print these and pass them around the table. Ask people to select a particularly meaningful quote and share what it means to them.

You and the people at the table could talk about politics, sports, the weather, plane delays, traffic and the food - or you could have a memorable discussion about the many blessings in your life, including who and what has favorably impacted you this year.

You’ve heard the saying “out of sight, out of mind?” You might want to post these quotes where you can see them every day, not just on holidays. Keeping them“in sight, in mind” (vs. out of sight, out of mind) can help you focus on - and appreciate - what's right in the world. And that's a win for everyone.

Gratitude quote #1: “When you drink the water, remember the well.” – Chinese proverb

Gratitude quote #2: “Make yourself a blessing to someone. Your kind smile or pat on the back just might pull someone back from the edge.” – Carmelia Elliott

Gratitude quote #3: “If the only prayer you ever said was ‘Thank you,’ that would be enough.” – Meister Ekhart

Gratitude quote #4: “There is no duty so under-rated as the duty of being happy. By being happy and grateful, we sow anonymous benefits upon the world.” – Robert Louis Stevenson

Gratitude quote #5: “Look at everything as though you were seeing it for the first or last time. Then your time on earth will be filled with glory.” – Betty Smith

Gratitude quote #6: “When the eye wakes up to see again, it suddenly stops taking anything for granted.” – Frederick Franck

Gratitude quote #7: “When you give and carry out acts of kindness you get a wonderful feeling. It is as though something inside your body responds and says, ‘Yes, this is how I ought to feel.'” – Rabbi Harold Kushner

Gratitude quote #8: “One of the very first things I figured out about life…is that it’s better to be a grateful person than a grumpy one, because you have to live in the same world either way, and if you’re grateful, you have more fun.”—Barbara Kingsolver

Gratitude quote #9: “Most of us are about as happy as we make up our minds to be." - Abraham Lincoln

Gratitude quote #10: “What a wonderful life I’ve had! I only wish I’d realized it sooner.” – Colette

Gratitude quote #11: “Unless people like you care a whole lot, things aren’t going to get better, they’re not!” – Dr. Seuss, The Lorax

Gratitude quote #12: “To feel, think, learn and love; surely that is being alive and young in the real sense." - Freya Stark

Gratitude quote #13: In Thornton Wilder’s play Our Town, Emily longs to revisit one ordinary, “unimportant” day. When she gets her wish, she realizes how much she took for granted. “I didn’t realize all that was going on and we never noticed. Oh, earth, your’e too wonderful for anybody to realize you.”

Gratitude quote #14: “As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them.” - John F. Kennedy

Gratitude quote #15: “Be thankful for what you have; you'll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don't have, you will never have enough." - Oprah Winfrey

Gratitude quote #16: "The best way to pay for a lovely moment is to enjoy it." - Richard Bach

Gratitude quote #17: "Happiness is not a goal; it's a byproduct." - Eleanor Roosevelt

Gratitude quote #18: "Success is not about getting it done or attaining money or stuff. The measure of success in lie is the amount of joy you feel." - Esther Hicks

Gratitude Quote #19: “Normal day, let me aware of the treasure you are.Let me not pass you by in quest of some rare and perfect tomorrow. Let me hold you while I may; for it may not always be so. One day I shall dig my nails into the earth . . . or raise my hands to the sky and want, more than all the world, your return.” – Mary Jean Iron

Gratitude Quote #20: "The bad news is, time flies. The good news is, you're the pilot." - Michael Altschuler

Maintaining a spirit and mindset of gratitude as we move forward - choosing to focus on and realize all the many blessings in our world - is a magical way to "pilot our time."

Sending best wishes to you for a happy, healthy new year that is everything you want it to be - and more. - - - - Sam Horn, Intrigue Expert and author of Got Your Attention? is on a mission to help people create collaborative communications that add value for all involved. Check out Sam's #TEDx talk on how to connect with anyone, anytime, anywhere.

Get Out of Your Head and Come To Your Senses

I know it's a cliche; but have you ever seen anything so beautiful it took your breath away?

That's what happened this day last year when the historic floods cleared enough for our private photography workshop group - led by Charles Needle - to be let into Monet's Garden at 7 am sharp, before the public crowds.

I rounded a corner, and there was Monet's fabled lily pond and green arched bridge, framed by weeping willows and an abundance of living color. Palettes of pink , lilac, fuchsia, red and purple splashed across my vision ... and soul.

Dewitt (famed National Geographic photographer) and I agreed the gardens are a living, breathing testimony to Nature's abundance. What we experienced was the opposite of a perfectly manicured garden with neat rows, tightly clipped hedges and carefully controlled design.

We were surrounded by, as Dewitt put it ... a PROFUSION. I was intrigued with his just-right word and looked it up later. Profusion is defined as a "lavish display, extravagant."

That's exactly what was spread out before us and all around us. Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "The earth laughs in flowers."  I found myself laughing out loud with sheer joy at what was around me.

I felt pulled along the garden paths, drinking it all in, filled with a timeless sense of wonder.  The trees were teeming with the coos, calls, chirps and twerps of birds greeting the new day.

Author Frederick Franck suggests we could counteract our busyness and non-stop rushing by creating an “island of silence” by letting our eyes fall on whatever happens to be in front of us – a flower or tree – and that we “look at it until it looks back at us.”

That’s what I’m drawn to do.  And as I gaze at the beauty surrounding me, I get out of my head and "come to my senses." Don’t you just love that phrase?

I’m reminded of ‘dah talk I had with Tom and Andrew when it was time for them to head to Virginia Tech (Go Hokies). You know the one I’m talking about. Where we try to distill everything we know into a couple pieces of advice on how to create a quality life that matters? I dug deep and asked myself, “What do I know for sure?  If I could only pass along a few life lessons, what would those be?” Here's what I told them:

Imprint.  I told them, "Charles Bukowski said, 'The days race by like wild horses over the hills.' The good news is, you can counteract the fleeting nature of time by imprinting special moments. When you experience something that moves you, look around and take a mental snapshot of what it looks like, smells like, sounds like, feels like.   Then, you can revisit it and re-experience it anytime you want.

My second piece of advice? “If anything ever goes wrong, get out in nature. If you’re worried about a test, if for any reason you’re feeling bad or sad – get outside and look up.  You will instantly feel better because it’s impossible to be in nature without getting a big picture perspective that centers you in what really matters.”

The third?  If you're ever at a crossroads, need to make a decision and can’t make up your mind, take the bolder of the options.

That’s what my dad suggested when I was trying to decide what to major in in college. Career counselors were advising me to study medicine or law so I could leverage my brain.

But I had grown up playing sports and planned to help pay my way through college by running recreation departments. That's what I wanted to study - Recreation Administration. Some people said that was a "joke" career, but I wanted to do work I loved that mattered and that's what Rec. Admin. represented to me.

So, instead of "conforming" to a more traditional or "practical" path, I chose the bolder option, the one that put the light on in my eyes, and things have just gotten better and better ever since.

I told my sons that Dad's advice to take the bolder option has led to a life I love. “When we make safe decisions, a small part of us dies. If you're not sure what to do, do what puts the light on in your eyes.”

Both Tom and Andrew have told me those pieces of advice have come in handy over the years.

And last year, in Monet's Garden, I got to do for myself what I had recommended to them.  I traveled to France as a result of a bold decision to take off for a Year by the Water, a creative venture that absolutely put the light on in my yes. I looked up and around and immersed myself in Mother Nature, and imprinted every blessed moment of it.

Meister Ekhart said, “If the only prayer we ever said was ‘Thank you,’ that would be enough.” As I steeped myself in the splendor of that special place, I sent up, “Thank you, thank you, thank you.”

As I did, a duck swam into view. I laughed out loud as what popped into my head was … lucky duck.

I am indeed a lucky duck. And you will be too if you make a bold decision to take time off work this weekend and go somewhere beautiful that takes your breath away. It's summer. Do NOT be one of the 59% of Americans who do not take their full vacation days.

The clock is ticking. Not in a morbid way, in a motivating way.

Where is a place you've always wanted to visit - or a place that fills you with joy every time you go there? Get yourself there. And when you do, get out of your head and come to your senses. See, smell, hear and feel the sights and sounds. Look up and imprint. Send up your own "Thank you, thank you, thank you."

- - -

Sam Horn, Founder/CEO of the Intrigue Agency, is on a mission to help people create quality projects that add value for all involved. Her TEDx talk and books - POP!, Tongue Fu! and Washington Post bestseller Got Your Attention? - have been featured in NY Times, Forbes, INC and presented to NASA, Boeing, Intel, Cisco and YPO.