Is the Light Is On In Your Eyes?

Did you know: * 48% of people say they are tired every single day of the week? * 52% of people feel unappreciated and would quit their job if they could? * that WORK -and the stress leading to it- are now the fifth leading cause of death in the U.S.?

Why are we doing this to ourselves?

I believe it's because "our strength taken to an extreme becomes our Achilles Hell." (Not a typo).

And for many of us, our "strength" is that we want to be a good person. We want to be responsible.

So we go to work and take care of customers and coworkers. We come home and take care of our family. In our community, we take care of friends, neighbors, the people on our church committee, community association board, local sports team or service club.

The question is, are we so busy taking care of everyone else - we have neglected our own priorities, dreams and goals? At what cost?

I believe it's not selfish to do more of what puts the light on in our eyes, it's smart. Here's why I've come to believe it's important to set our SerenDestiny in motion now - not someday.

Several years ago, I had breakfast with Ivan Misner, founder of BNI, (one of the world's largest networking organizations.) After hearing about my full calendar and nonstop travel, he asked, "What do you do for fun?"

Long pause. I finally dug deep and came up with "I walk my dog around the lake."

Please don't get me wrong. I'm grateful to do work I love that matters; it's just that I was going 24/7. (Sound familiar?)

My conversation with Ivan, a health-scare and several other wake-up calls motivated me to do a pattern interrupt.

I gave away 95% of what I owned and took my business on the road for a Year by the Water. I visited oceans, lakes, rivers and waterfalls and wrote about my adventures and insights.

(And yes, I realize how fortunate I am to be at a certain age and stage in my career where I had the freedom, autonomy and wherewithal to do that.)

Do you know what I didn't predict? That my Year by the Water ended up NOT being about the water.

Yes, I swam with dolphins, sailed the Chesapeake Bay and had many memorable times in, on and around the water.

But what turned that trip into a life-changer were the unplanned experiences and disruptive epiphanies that caused me to realize my S.O.P - Standard Operating Procedure - was sadly outdated.

To my surprise, I discovered many of my default beliefs/behaviors - what I thought were right, true, and good - were wrong.

For example, I discovered:

• Hard work is not the secret to success, it's not even close • We need to quit watering dead plants • Fun is not a four-letter word • It's never too late to have a fresh start * Self-sacrifice serves no one • You’ve got to have a dream for a dream to come true

Many of the people I met during my travels told me they felt conflicted, torn, locked into a lifestyle that's nothing like they imagined or expected.

On one hand, they're grateful for their kids, spouse, job, etc.

On the other hand they feel they don't have the freedom to do what makes them happy. The well-meaning model of being responsible to everyone but yourself is producing a generation of unhappy, unhealthy people who are leading a life that is nothing like the one they want and deserve to lead.

It’s time to disrupt what being a “good person," what leading a "good life" looks like.

Rest assured, I am not suggesting we ignore others' needs and think only of our own. I'm suggesting we get clear about our values and priorities - and start creatimg a life that's more in alignment with that NOW, not someday.

What really matters to you – now and in the long run - is deeply personal. Only you can figure out what that is for you.

The good news is, this SERENDESTINY site (and my upcoming book Someday is Not a Day in the Week) can help you start putting yourself back in your own story.

I hope you'll come back and visit frequently. You may find just the right quote, eye-opening insight or inspiring success story to motivate you to do something TODAY that puts the light on in your eyes.

Trust me, you will never regret clarifying what puts the light on in your eyes and bringing more of that into your life; you will only regret not doing it ... sooner.

What Are You Paying Attention To?

"Tell me to what you pay attention and I will tell you you you are." - Jose Ortega y Gasset Do you ever get discouraged by man's inhumanity to man?

It can be discouraging to watch the news and witness yet another tragedy, scandal or man-made disaster.

Yet complaining about it or being outraged by it hurts rather than helps ... unless we actively try to improve it.

Unfortunately, we can't always change or improve what's happening on the world stage. We feel powerless to make things better.

The good news is, there is a way to make things better. Paying attention to what's right in the world can improve the quality of life for us and everyone around us.

The challenge is, many of us have become so busy, stressed, angry or outraged, we no longer even notice man's HUMANITY to man.

This point was brilliantly made in an article by Gene Weingarten in the Washington Post years ago.  I remember reading this on a Sunday morning years ago when I lived in Reston, VA. I was so inspired by his thought-provoking essage, I set the magazine down and said out loud, "Just give the man the Pulitzer."

Weingarten wondered, “What would happen if you took a renowned violinist and positioned him inside a D.C Metro Stop during morning rush hour?

What if you asked him to play six compositions, each 'masterpieces that have endured for centuries,' and asked him to play these symphonies on a rare Stradivarius?

Would any of the hundreds of people streaming by take a moment to pay attention to a free concert by “one of the finest classical musicians in the world, playing some of the most elegant music ever written on one of the most valuable violins ever made?”

In the 45 minutes Joshua Bell played, (yes, the Joshua Bell who packs them in at concert halls around the globe), only seven (!) people paid any attention to his performance. The other 1070 people all rushed by, seemingly oblivious to the miracle in their midst.

Weingarten’s point?

There were several. One of which was to quote W.H. Davies who said, “‘What is this life if, full of care, we have no time to stop and stare.’

At what cost are we so uptight and driven, that we have lost the ability to see the beauty around us?”

Another intriguing insight from Weingarten, “There was no demographic pattern to distinguish the few people who stopped to watch Bell from the majority who hurried past.  

But every time a child walked past, s/he tried to stop and watch. And every single time, a parent scooted the kid away.”

Hmmm.  Makes you think, doesn’t it?

Kudos to Gene Weingarten for his visionary social experiment Pearls Before Breakfast.

Please take the time to read the article and ask yourself, “Would I have taken a moment to listen to Bell?  Why or why not?  Have I become inured to the beauty around me?"

Starting today, vow to focus on, and contribute to, what’s right with your world instead of what’s wrong.

Instead of dwelling on the news, which primarily reports man’s inhumanity to man, choose to give your attention to what’s uplifting, inspiring and enlightening.

Choose to notice and thank the people who are making a positive difference ... the parents, teachers, entrepreneurs, servers, community leaders who treat others with respect and are dedicated to living in integrity and adding value.

When you choose to honor and BE humanKIND - you expand it.

And when we expand humanKIND - we create a rising tide raising all humans.

Want another example of humanKIND?

Have you heard about Eric Whitacre? Have you ever had the chicken-skin experience of singing in a choir or hearing a concert of hundreds of voices lifted in song?

Well, Eric thought, "Wouldn't it be wonderful if I could gather people from around the world - online - and conduct a “virtual choir” with several thousand people from 58 countries … all singing the same song at the same time?"

Take a few moments to listen to the transcendent results of Eric Whitacre's Virtual Choir 2 "Water Night."  

Do it right now.  Really.  Don't "pass by" this offering of man's humanity to man.

I promise, for the moments you listen to this, you will be swept up in human harmony.

You will experience the joy that happens when people choose to come together in collaboration rather than conflict. 

You will be immersed in what's right with our world, right here, right now.

And by experiencing this example of human-KIND, you’ll see the world in a more positive and proactive light.

And every single time we do that, every time we pay attention to and contribute to the beauty in the world, we create a new narrative that elevates and celebrates what's right instead of what's wrong.

Don't Wait for Work You Love

"We don't FIND our calling - we create it." - Sam Horn, CEO of the INTRIGUE Agency and author of IDEApreneur People talk about finding their calling … as if it exists out there somewhere, intact, and all they have to do is look long enough and EUREKA, there it will be, hiding behind a tree.

I think our calling - doing work we love that matters - emerges from doing and pursuing things that matter to us.  It is a result of turning our passion into our profession and our joy into our job.

As former Supreme Court Justice Sandra Day O'Conner said, "I've had a good life and it's because I stayed busy doing things that mattered to me."

Some people tell me they wish they could turn their joy into their job and do work they love. 

I tell them, "Stop waiting and start creating. They often push back with, "I agree with that in theory, but HOW do I do it in practice?"

I share the backstory of how I got into this career when I didn't even know it was a career. I am doing work I didn’t even know existed when I was in college. There was no major in this. No degree in it.  No newspaper ads featuring this as a job description.  There was no map, no instructions, no directions.

I just navigated my way to my ideal work/life by honoring The Four I’s – Instincts, Interests, Integrity, Lights on IN our Eyes – which are our Career Compass.

The work I'm doing is an accumulation of intuitive steps I took along the way.  When I didn’t know what to do, I checked in with my Four I’s and they  pointed me in the right direction.

Here's what I mean. When I speak for organizations, people often come up afterwards and say some version of this: “It looks like you really enjoy what you do. I wish I could do work I loved. How'd you get started in this?”

Here’s how I got started creating my ideal career  ... and how you can too.

Years ago, I was reading The Washington Post and noticed that the word “concentration” was used six times on the front page of the sports section.

Tennis player Chris Evert said her ability to concentrate and stay focused despite the planes flying overhead was why she’d been able to win the U.S. Open.

A golfer who missed a gimme putt on a sudden death playoff hole said he’d lost his concentration because of the clicking cameras of nearby photographers.

A baseball manager blamed his team’s 7-game losing streak on the fact that players were thinking ahead to the playoffs instead of concentrating on that day’s game.

I was intrigued. (I’ve since come to understand that when we’re intrigued, opportunity is knocking on our heart.)

I thought, “We all wish we could concentrate better but no one ever teaches us how. Concentration is key to just about everything – success in business, relationships, sports and life – but I’ve never seen any books on this topic. I’ve never heard any speakers on this subject. And it matters.”

This topic interested me. I felt it was an important personal and professional skill that would benefit people, so it was in alignment with my integrity. And myinstincts were telling me there was a commercial need for this and people would pay to learn how to do it better.

So, I decided to do a deep dive into the topic of concentration, focus and flow.   I  interviewed athletes, artists, executives, inventors, entrepreneurs and “everyday people” to glean their insights and examples.  Sample questions included:

1.  How did you learn to concentrate?

2. What do you do to stay focused even when you’re busy, distracted or tired?

3. How do you motivate yourself to focus when you don’t feel like it?

4. How do you regain your concentration if you lose it?

5. Do you have any special techniques you use to set up flow and to s-t-r-e-t-c-h your attention span?”

Based on my research; I developed a step-by-step approach on how to pay attention - no matter what - and offered it for Wash DC’s Open University.

At the end of the program, several people came up to ask if I would speak for their conference or company.

That one workshop launched a rewarding career that has taken me around the world and given me blessed opportunities to do work I love that matters with people I enjoy and respect. It even resulted in a book called ConZentrate that’s been featured on Diane Rehm’s popular NPR show, taught at NASA and endorsed by Stephen Covey and Dr. Ed Hallowell ( a leading expert on A.D.D.)

What’s this got to do with you? Would you like to do work that matters to you and to others?  Just ask yourself:

1. What do I find Intriguing?  What interests me? 2. What is something that calls to me  that I think is in Integrity because it would benefit people and add value for them? 3. What is a problem, need or opportunity that has caught my attention and myInstincts are telling me, ‘Somebody should DO something about that?” 4. What puts the light on In my eyes when I'm doing it?

Please understand …you’re as much a somebody as anybody.  Why don’t you do something about it?

Choosing to pursue opportunities that are alignment with your Four I’s can catalyze a life of SerenDestiny where the light is on in your eyes.

From now on, remember, work we love is not out there waiting.  It’s a result of us creating. Pay attention to what honors your Instincts, Interests and Integrity, and Lights on IN the eyes.  

Then,  get busy doing and pursuing what matters to you. What lights you up is your GIFT and gifting that back to the world by getting paid to teach it TO people or do it FOR people is one of the quickest paths to a meaningful career where you earn a good living doing work you love that matter.

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Sam Horn, Intrigue Expert, TEDx speaker, author of IDEApreneur, Tongue Fu! and Washington Post bestseller Got Your Attention? – feels fortunate to do work she loves, speaking for National Geographic, Boeing, Cisco, Capital One, writing books that add value, and helping consulting clients craft quality projects that scale their impact – for good. Want Sam to speak at your next conference? Email Cheri@IntrigueAgency.com for details.

The Desert of Your Dream

“I didn’t think I would play tennis again at one point. I just wanted to make it out of the hospital.” – Wimbledon Champ Serena Williams

“After winning her fifth Wimbledon championship to snap a two-year drought of major titles, Williams clambered up the Centre Court stands to her guest box to share the triumph with the loved ones she said made it possible. Those people in that box were with me when I went through everything. I just felt I don’t say ‘thank you’ enough.’” - article by Liz Clarke in Washington Post 

It has been inspiring watching Serena come back from what she thought were career-ending injuries, including two foot surgeries and a pulmonary embolism. As mentioned, she thought she may NEVER play tennis again.

What kept her going in the desert of her dream?  How did she keep the faith when it looked like she might not have the opportunity to pursue her passion and profession?

Starting a business, writing a book, pursuing our personal legend, is often a roller-coaster ride. Ups and downs. Highs and lows.  What can keep us going in those lows?

Hanging out with people who have our back and front can help us keep moving when we're in the desert of our dream.

Another non-negotiable is to continue to SEE ourselves achieving our dream … even when it's not apparent to others, even when we’re stalled and it looks like it may never happen.

Keeping the faith, and moving forward no matter what, is a non-negotiable.

If you stop. if you give up and abandon your vision … it will not happen.

It is up to you to hang on to your belief that what you’re trying to create is possible and worthwhile. Doing so keeps it alive and gives it a chance because you are doing your half.

I know this may sound woo-woo, but when you do your half, the universe steps up and does its half.

Soren Kierkegaard said, “Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards.”

Looking backwards, every successful person will tell you there were setbacks along the way to pursuing their dream. At the time, those obstacles may have seemed insurmountable. The setbacks could have drained their will, conviction, and caused them to doubt.

Instead, they transcended their doubts and continued to live and look forward. They carried on through the doubts and down times.  In doing so, they re-established momentum and moved closer to realizing their dream.

I can only imagine that Serena was tempted to give up when she was in pain, when she could hardly walk, when she got the bad news that she was going to have to go back for another surgery.

But Serena wasn’t finished. She believed she still had greatness in her, she still had championships to win.

She re-dedicated herself. Instead of abandoning her dream, she re-committed to being and doing her best.

As a result of persevering through the desert of her dream, she reached a much-welcomed, well-deserved oasis.

The beauty of this is; her success was not a mirage; it was a result of her forward movement .and faith  It was an earned reality.

How about you?

Are you in the desert of your dream?  Are things not working out the way you hoped?  Have you received bad news?  Are people around you not seeing what you're seeing, not believing what you're believing?

Could you choose to “pull a Serena?” Could you re-dedicate yourself and live and look forward, no matter what?

Your dream is still attainable if you keep it alive by persevering in spite of this temporary down-time.

If you keep on keeping on, the universe will say, "All righty then, you're doing your half ... we'll do ours."

Beat-the-odds opportunities will show up that never would have happened otherwise.

As Winston Churchill said, "Success is not final, failure is not fatal; it is the courage to continue that counts."

Continue.

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Like this post?  Want to receive inspiring stories and insights on how to create the life of your dreams? Subscribe to Sam Horn's SerenDestiny blog where she posts weekly updates from her YEAR BY THE WATER.  Sam, America's Intrigue Expert, helps people create one-of-a-kind projects that scale their impact for good.  Her work - including IDEApreneur, Tongue Fu! and Washington Post bestseller Got Your Attention? - has been featured on NPR and MSNBC and featured in New York Times, Forbes, INC, BusinessWeek, Huffington Post. 

How to To Turn Your Joy into Your Job - Your Passion into Your Profession

"Working hard for something you hate is called stress. Working hard for something you love is called passion." - Simon Sinek Were you crystal clear about what you wanted to do when you were growing up … or are you still trying to figure that out? 

Are you working hard at something you hate - or for something you love?

My sons Tom and Andrew grew up on Maui. Our family ritual was to head out for a "walk and roll" through our neighborhood every night. I would walk and they would ride their big wheels, bikes or skateboards.

One night when Tom was about eight, I asked him, "What do you want to do - who do you want to be - when you grow up?"

Tom thought about it for a moment and then pointed to the sky and said, "Something to do with up there."

From an early age, Tom read Isaac Asimov, Ray Bradbury and Orson Scott Card.  He loved sci-fi novels about space exploration.

Guess what Tom ended up doing?? Working for NASA in Mission Control at Johnson Space Center in Houston with the ISS (International Space Station).

This story gets better. Guess who Tom met while working in Mission Control? His now wife Patty, who had the coolest job title - Astronaut Scheduler.

Guess who now is in Boulder working for Sierra Nevada on the Dream Chaser - and Patty is working with satellites for LASP in Boulder, Colorado? Guess who has a couple of little astronauts toddling around the house?

All because they had clarity about what they wanted to do and made it happen. It gives me chicken-skin (Hawaiian for goose bumps) every time I think about it.

For many of us though, clarity about what we wanted to do didn't show up when we were growing up. For many of us, it crystallized over time from a series of trial-and-error experiences.  No to this. Yes to this. Maybe to this.

We noticed that when we did this type of work or collaborated with these type of individuals, it resonated, it felt right. We felt meaningfully productive. That activity was a match for who we are at our core. It's in alignment with what we're good at, what matters to us.

Are you still not clear what that is for you?

You can get closer to it by taking a second look at what you do by choice, in your free time? What do you do - voluntarily - when you're not working?  What's FUN for you?

Noticing this, and understanding that what we do when we procrastinate can reveal work we'd rather be doing, is what happened to a colleague, Dana Wright.

Dana always used to “noodle and doodle.”  In class, instead of listening to her teacher, she would let her imagination run free. Instead of doing her assignments, she’d fill the margins with what she was seeing in her mind’s eye. Even as an adult, she always had a pen in her hand and was taking notes or drawing.  It was what she did naturally.

Guess how Dana now earns her living – a good living – in every sense of the word?

She’s a graphic facilitator. She is the person you see at conferences and strategic retreats, facilitating the discussion while simultaneously drawing a colorful, visual word-map/mural of what’s happening in the room.  She literally and figuratively gets everyone on the same page with her meeting art.

Dana loves her work – and it loves her. She turned her joy into her job.

Wouldn't it be wonderful if you could turn your joy into your job?   Ask yourself these questions:

1  What do I do when I'm supposed to be doing something else?

2. What am I'm drawn to do when I'm supposed to be doing my “real” job?

3.  What do I do in my free time that resonates, feels right, puts the light on in my eyes, fills me with joy?

4.  What am I good at that makes me feel good?

Once you identify what that is, get creative about how you could get paid to teach that to others  - or do that for others.

Another way to crstallize work you love that puts the light on in your eyes is to leverage your Four I's. The Four I's can be your Career Compass in developing a meaningful career. Here's how you can Create Work You Love

If you leverage your Four Ii's, you’ll never have to “work” another day in your life because you’ll be in that sublime state of SerenDestiny where you’re earning a good living doing what you love most and do best with people you enjoy, respect and trust ... and getting paid for it.

Does it get better than that??

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P.S. Want more ways to turn your passion into a profession? Check out my IDEApreneur book. It shares exactly what I've done over the past 25 years to be a successful entrepreneur who's traveled the world, getting paid to speak, write, coach and help others turn their joy into their job.

You're also welcome to check out this post which has more tips on how to integrate our passions into our profession so we're doing what's called "job crafting."