I Didn't Change, I Just Woke Up

I was looking for an evocative quote on the topic of change for one of the chapters in my upcoming book SOMEDAY Is Not a Day in the Week. I found it in this, "I didn't change. I just woke up." (BTW, it's attributed to that ubiquitous philosopher - Anonymous.)

That's what I did on my Year by the Water. I woke up.

I woke up to the fact that:

* the clock is ticking. Not in a morbid way, in a motivating way.

* working, working, working is a prescription for regrets.

* change is not hard. A life we love is often one small change away.

* fun is not a four-letter word.

* we'll never be lonely - as long as we pay attention.

* connection is the North Star and Holy Grail of my life.

* I'd been living neck-up for years - and it was time to come to my senses.

* magic unfolds when we leave room for whims.

* it's time to stop ordering pasta we don't want.

* many of us are driving into hurricanes - because we said we would.

* courage is just trusting we can figure things out.

* Paulo Coelho is right, "One day we're going to wake up and there won't be any time left to do the things we've always wanted to do."

We'll never regret doing more of what puts the light on in our eyes - we'll only regret not doing it sooner.

Day Right Quote #54: Stop Trying to Make Everyone Happy. You're Not Chocolate

I’m working on a chapter in my new book – Chase Meaning Not Clicks – about the futility of people-pleasing. One of the unexpected themes from my Year by the Water was how many people are taking themselves out of the game of life. They are neglecting their own needs and taking care of everyone BUT themselves. These are good people who are putting aside their own priorities because they have “responsibilities” to take care of.

I believe it’s important to be responsible; to think of others, to care for others.

I also believe that, taken to an extreme, trying to make everyone happy can become our Achilles Hell. (Not a typo). Self-sacrifice doesn’t serve anyone.

Please understand, I’m not suggesting we think only of ourselves and what we want. That is an equally unhealthy extreme.

But putting everyone else first - every time, all the time - is a prescription for regrets.

This insight “Stop trying to make everyone happy. You’re not chocolate” (or pasta, or pizza, take your pick) makes the point with humor.

Trying to make everyone happy makes no one happy. (This post shows an example of how I learned this.)

Are you a team leader, parent, project manager, caretaker, writer or creative? Are you trying to make everyone happy? As Dr. Phil says, "How's that working for you?"

Put yourself in the mix. You have value. You have your own voice, talents, contributions, experience, expertise, perspective and unique take on the world.

It is FAIR and NEEDED for you to honor and contribute your own abilities, insights and gifts. This is true on and off the job – at work, at home and in your community.

We serve best when we serve others AND our self. The goal is to keep things in balance, always in balance.

Day Right Quote #53: Don't You Know Yet? It is Your Light that Lights the World

When I present SerenDestiny programs, people often ask, "Isn't it selfish to do what you really want?" I tell them, "it is if you exclude everyone else's needs and priorities.

But many of us are doing the opposite of that.

We're honoring everyone else's needs and priorities and ignoring our own."

As Rumi said, "Don't you know yet? Is is YOUR light that lights the world.

This is probably one of the most important lessons-learned from my Year by the Water ... It is not selfish to put ourselves in our own story, it's smart.

It is not an indulgence to do what puts the light on in your eyes and fills you with joy - it is an example that inspires others to do the same.

In fact, here's how I learned that lesson.

Hope it inspires you to shine your light on and in the world.

Day Right Quote #50: Are You Putting Aside What You Want MOST for What You Want NOW?

Love this quote by Zig Ziglar, "Are you putting aside what you want MOST for what you want NOW?" The good news? Sometime there's a sublime convergence and what we want MOST and what we want NOW are the same thing.

Like today. I got some good news about my upcoming book - Chase Meaning, Not Clicks - so I wanted to celebrate.

Headed out to explore a new town and discovered a used bookstore, a fabulous library with a "Read to Rover" program in process, and THE best restaurant I've discovered in Boulder- the EMPIRE. What a perfect day.

Here's the question. What do you want MOST? What do you want NOW? Are they the same? Different?

Could you converge them for a morning, afternoon or weekend so you get to experience the sublime combination of a day where all is right with your world and you are SHINING with happiness and abundance?

Day Right Quote #49: The Earth Has Music for Those Who Listen

When my sons headed off to college, (Yay Virginia Tech), we had 'dah talk." You know the one I'm talking about; where you try to distill everything you've learned into a couple pieces of advice?

One of the "What I know for sure's" I shared with Tom and Andrew was, "If you're ever frustrated sad, confused or in need of a pick-me-up, get out in Mother Nature.

She will fill you with perspective and remind you of what's right in the world."

I was in an exploratory mood yesterday so Googled "park near me?" Minutes later, she directed me to this incredibly inspiring Twin Lakes walking trail. Isn't it glorious?

William Shakespeare was right.

The earth does have music for those who listen and see and appreciate her abundance.

I am in harmony every single time I'm fortunate enough to be in her presence. How about you?

Day Right Quote #43: Being a Good Writer is 20% Hard Work and 80% Not Getting Distracted by the Internet

I laughed out loud at the irony of reading this quote online - "Being a good writer is 20% hard work and 80% not getting distracted by the Internet" - while I was supposed to be working on my book. Thanks for calling me out, Internet.

These days, the key to being a good ANYTHING is 20% paying attention to what really matters and working towards it - and 80% not getting distracted by the Internet.

That includes being a good parent, being a good boss, being a good entrepreneur, being a good person, and yes being a good artist.

It's important to ask ourselves, "Will this matter in the long run? What will?" and that we focus on that instead of on clickbait.

Chase meaning, not clicks.

So, it's back to writing for me.

How about you? What are you going to return your attention to and work towards that matters more than this?

Day Right Quote #42: My Happiness Depends On Me; So You're Off the Hook

This quote from Esther Hicks is one of THE most important lessons of my #life. When I told my adult sons I was embarking on My Year by the Water, they were thrilled. They told me, "We've got this. The best thing you can do for us is to be HAPPY."

In other words, "We can take care of ourselves. It's time to start taking care of YOU."

When are we going to understand that one of the greatest gifts we can give our loved ones is to be happy and healthy and have the light on in our eyes?

Albert Schweitzer said, "In influencing others, example is not the main thing. It is the ONLY thing."

It's not selfish to do what fills you with joy, you are setting an example for others that THIS is how life is supposed to look.

When we go first and lead a life we love, it gives others permission to do the same.

Day Right Quote #34: Nearly All The Best Things That Came to Me in Life Have Been Unexpected, Unplanned by Me

After an intense and rewarding week of consults, I pronounced yesterday ADVENTURE FRIDAY and decided to go to Estes Park, 30 miles away, because I'd never been there. As I drove into that stunning mountain valley, I saw a white lodge high on a hill. I didn't know what it was, but it looked intriguing, so I started taking roads that led UP until I arrived HERE.

This is the famous Stanley Hotel. You may have seen it in the movie The Shining​. Remember Jack Nicholson's immortal words, "I'll be b-a-c-k."

As I strolled the grounds, marveled at the "didn't know that" history of this grand hotel, and gazed at the majestic snow-capped mountains, I was reminded all over again that SECURITY is not the spice of life, DISCOVERY is.

Do you do same-old, same-old, day in and day out? Do you feel locked into routines?

This week, DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT. Change things up. Follow an intuitive nudge to go here, do this. Re-experience the power curiosity and discovery have to put the light on in your eyes. Set something in motion and see what unfolds

Your SerenDestiny is on the other side of routine.

Carl Sandburg is right. Nearly all the best things that come to us in life are unexpected, unplanned

Day Right Quote #32: Receive, Receive, Receive

My friend Mary LoVerde, Hall of Fame speaker and author of I Used To Have a Handle On Life, But It Broke has changed my life - for good. She came to my home several years ago to"feng shui" it.

We didn't just clear out clutter, we also cleared out a lot of locked-in beliefs that were driving behavior that didn't serve me or the people around me.

For example, have you been told, "It's better to give than receive."

Not always. Mary opened my eyes to the fact that our strength taken to an extreme can become our Achilles Heel. We can over-give.

She suggested I repeat these words every day, "Receive, receive, receive."

This mantra has resulted in a heightened awareness and appreciation of the blessings and abundance in my life.

Try it and you'll see. Repeat those three words "Receive, receive, receive" as a daily habit ... and watch what happens.

Day Right Quote #31: Celebrate Someone's Who's Always Been There for You

Taylor Swift says, "People haven't always been there for me; but music has." Who and what have always BEEN THERE for you?

My sister Cheri Grimm of Virtual Asset Office Management has run my business for 20 years.

One of the great joys of my life is having the privilege of working with someone I trust completely who always has my back and front.

I am enormously grateful to her for the countless ways she supports and inspires me and delivers above-and-beyond service to our clients. Thanks, sis, for ALWAYS being there.

Part of putting and keeping the light on in our eyes and leading a life of SerenDestiny is intentionally aligning with people we trust who are always there for us ... and being there for THEM by letting them know how much their support and constancy means to us.

Why not give a shout-out today to someone who's always been there for you? There is no present like the time - and no time like the present - to acknowledge and appreciate someone who contributes to your quality of life.

Day Right Quote #30: Money Doesn't Guarantee Happiness; It Guarantees OPTIONS

When I worked in the tennis industry on Hilton Head Island, SC early in my career, I met many unhappy rich people. I learned that money is not the Holy Grail. Money is welcome of course, but as Chris Rock points out, to give us OPTIONS, not to guarantee we'll love our life.

What makes us happy is to DO what puts the light on in our eyes and to align and spend time with people WHO put the light on in our eyes.

That's the purpose of this site. For you to have a place you can always find quotes, stories and fresh insights on how to put and keep the light on in your eyes.

In other words, how to be wealthy in what REALLY matters.

No spam. No selling. No ulterior motive. Just a site that focuses on what's right on in the world to help us lead a proactive, generous, grateful, abundant life that creates a "rising tide" impact that adds meaning and value for us and everyone around us.

Hope you find this SerenDestiny site inspiring. If so, you're welcome to share it with your friends. It makes my day when people are thoughtful enough to "spread the wealth."

Day Right Quote #29: You Can Fail At What You Don't Want; So You Might As Well Take a Chance Doing What You LOVE

Have you seen Jim Carrey's commencement speech for Maharishi University of Management? In it, he talks about his dad always wanting to be a comedian, but instead he took a SAFE job as an accountant to be "responsible" and support his family.

Then, his dad got let go and their family fell into financial hard times.

Jim's lesson from that?

"You can fail at what you DON'T want; so you might as well take a chance on doing what you LOVE."

Do you know someone who is making a career choice? Have they been told it's unrealistic to expect to make a living doing work they love? Are they about to make a "safe, responsible" decision to take a job that will pay the bills but that will kill the light in their eyes?

Share Jim Carrey's quote with them. They will never regret betting on themselves and choosing to do work they're good at that adds value and that lights them up.

Day Right Quote #27: Imprint

I reconnected with friends in DMV (DC, Maryland, Virginia) last week. It was wonderful getting caught up and finding out what's going on in each other's lives. One asked, "What's it like having a new grand baby?" I smiled and said, "There are moments when she's gazing into my eyes or cuddled on my chest that I am FILLED with what a blessing she is. I IMPRINT those special moments so I can re-visit them whenever I want, as often as I want."

I also had an opportunity to co-present a workshop with my son, Andrew, for the Institute for Excellence in Sales.

There were moments I looked at him all grown up, (it seems like it wasn't that long ago he was in his jolly jumper) sharing insights and stories with the audience with them hanging onto every word ... and I imprinted what a GIFT it is to do work I love that matters WITH my son, watching him shine and add value.

So many of us are juggling so many responsibilities, rushing from one appointment to the next, racing through our days. That's a prescription for missing our life.

It's important to PAUSE in the midst of special moments and imprint them.

If you imprint special moments, they are there waiting for you to re-experience whenever you want, as often as you want. It's a way to truly and more deeply experience the blessings of our life instead of rushing right past them.

Day Right Quote #26: What Is True For You?

Oprah Winfrey wraps up every O Magazine with, "What I Know For Sure." What do you know for sure?

What are 3 of your non-negotiables? 3 things you stand for - or won't stand for? 3 crystal clear lessons-learned that determine how you show up every day?

What I've learned is getting crystal clear about this - and keeping this in our life - is key to keeping the light on in our eyes (the definition of SerenDestiny).

One non-negotiable for me is the importance of staying connected with friends and family.

Another is receiving and reveling in the blessing of abundance, being wealthy in what matters and the privilege of doing creative work I love that matters.

Another is how grateful I am for my health and for getting out in nature - every single day - and breathing in its nourishing energy.

What are 3 things that are true for you?

Day Right Quote #24: Have You ARRIVED?

A rather ambitious friend told me she'd always perceived true success as "out there somewhere," just beyond her grasp, not yet attained. She always has goals she's working towards which gives her life a sense of progress, but not much satisfaction.

We looked at our lives and realized, "We're both published authors, we both speak internationally, we're thrilled with the coaching clients we get to work with.

Plus, we're in good health, we have freedom to do creative work that matters, we're having fun and we're connected with loving friends and family.

Success isn't "out there." It's right here, right now. We're wealthy in what matters. We've ARRIVED!

How about you? Do you feel you've ARRIVED?

Day Right Quote #21: Are You Waiting For the Other Shoe To Drop?

Are you happy? In love? Career and business thriving? Despite all that, do you still find yourself worrying it's only a matter of time before something goes wrong? Do you keep waiting for the other shoe to drop?

RE-FRAME that RIGHT now!

I have a friend who had fallen into this trap. Everything was going well in his life yet he found himself thinking, "This can't last. It's too good to be true."

I told him, "From now on, your mantra is, 'Things just keep getting better and better.'"

That's how we wrap up our phone calls to each other. Instead of saying, "Good bye," I say, "Receive, receive, receive," and he says, "Things just keep getting better and better and better."

If you find yourself sabotaging your success by telling yourself it can't last, do a pattern interrupt.

REPLACE that negative self-fulfilling prophecy with this more positive, proactive self-fulfilling prophecy "Things just keep getting better and better and better."

We get what we think about. Focus on what you WANT - not what you DON'T want.

Day Right Quote #12: There Is More to Life Than Increasing Its Speed

Gandhi was right. There IS more to life than increasing its speed. Many of us are working, working, working, rushing, rushing, rushing.

We're heading into a spring weekend.

Instead of going for a run, workout or power walk to get your heart rate UP, could you go for a stroll instead?

The trees are budding.The flowers are blossoming. Breathe it all in.

Appreciation for the miracles that surround us is available anytime we want ... for a moment's NOTICE.

Day Right Quote #10: The Way To Get Started is to Stop Talking and Start Doing

You know what I've found? Another way to get started is to stop THINKING and start DOING.

It's easy to over-think things. We go back and forth, "Should I do this or this? Is this better or that?"

In the long run this indecisiveness - this quest to have all our ducks in a row before we go - just delays action and doesn't necessarily guarantee better results.

It's SMARTER to be a STARTER and and course correct along the way.

What is ONE thing on your mind you've been wanting to do? Don't just want it. Start it.

Day Right Quote #8: Abundance Comes in Many Forms

Abundance is about so much more than money. Anything that enriches us contributes to our abundance.

That includes new and enduring friendships, enjoyable discoveries, being active outdoors, achieving important goals, connecting with loved ones, learning new skills, contributing to our community.

Anytime we do something that puts the light on in our eyes, we are richer for it.

Anything we do that contributes to our physical and mental well-being results in us being wealthy in what really matters.

How about you? Are you wealthy in what really matters? Are you appreciating the abundance in your life in all its forms?

Lesson #10. It Wasn't a Mid-Life Crisis; It was Mid-Life Clarity

When I announced my plans to embark upon my Year by the Water adventure, most people were happy for me and said something along the lines of, “Take me with you!” A few, however, expressed “concerns. A meeting planner cautioned me with, “Sam, I hope you know you’re taking a risk by taking yourself off the grid. You need to control this story or the business you’ve worked so hard to build may not be here when you come back. You know, you can’t put the genie back in the bottle.”

A highly successful investor told me, "I'm envious, but I could never just do nothing. I'd go crazy if I didn't work."

Another wanted to know, “Is something wrong?” In other words, “Are you sick, on your deathbed or just having a mid-life crisis?”

I listened to their concerns, and then assured them my decision to take my business on a road trip wasn’t a mid-life CRISIS, it was mid-life CLARITY. I was clear that:

I wasn’t QUITTING work – I was doing a different KIND of work.

I wasn’t doing NOTHING – I was doing SOMETHING that put the light on in my eyes just thinking about it.

There wasn’t anything WRONG with my life – I was taking steps to create a more RIGHT life.

And I certainly wasn’t going to hide this from my business community, I was going to invite them to come along so they could vicariously experience the adventures and insights with me.

What helped me get this mid-life clarity?

Well, a lot of things. One was something my son Andrew told me. Another was a health scare and the doctor warning me I better take better care of myself or my body would do something more drastic to get my attention.

Another was a variety of quotes that served as wake-up calls and motivated me to “get a move on.”

They included Paulo Coelho’s sober reminder, “One day you’re going to wake up and there won’t be any time left to do the things you’ve always wanted to do.”

Another was my clarity of how fortunate I am to be in a position to answer what called me.

I’m not one of the 65 million people (29% of the U.S. population) taking care of a chronically ill, disabled or aged friend or family member. I can operate my business from anywhere. And while I’m not independently wealthy, I’m wealthy in what matters. I have the health, freedom and autonomy to disrupt my life and do things differently.

There was nothing holding me back … so I took eighteen months to swim with dolphins, watch the sun rise over Diamond Head, take a photography workshop in Monet’s Garden, sail the Chesapeake Bay, drive the back-roads of America (and almost over a cliff on California’s Pacific Coast Highway) ... write about my experiences and epiphanies.

I will always be grateful for that adventure. It was one of the most deeply satisfying experiences of my life.

What I didn't anticipate was My Year by the Water ended up NOT being about the water.

Yes, I visited some of nature's wonders - oceans, waterfalls, mountain streams - but what made this experience so memorable and pivotal wasn't the places I visited; it was the disruptive epiphanies that challenged everything I thought I knew about what it takes to lead a meaningful life.

Aristotle said, “An unexamined life is not worth living."

Well, after going 24/7 for the past few decades, this trip gave me the time and space to reflect on my life.

What I discovered, much to my surprise, was that many of my life-long beliefs and behaviors like “It’s better to give than receive” and “Winners never quit and quitters never win” "Hard work is the secret to success" – were not contributing to a quality life; they were compromising it.

As a result of having time to examine what was working, what wasn’t and what I was going to do differently; my life has been enriched in ways that are better than I could have imagined.

I know you’re busy and may not have the incentive or resources to take a road trip.The good news? You don’t have to quit your job, win the lottery, get a divorce or walk away from your obligations to embark upon a "virtual" road trip. In my upcoming book Chase Meaning Not Clicks, you can vicariously experience those put-you-in-the-scene adventures in short chapters, all which can be read in under 10 minutes.

What's even better, ou don't have to wait for the book to come out in early 2018 to benefit from those insights. Here are my top ten lessons-learned. Hope they give you the CLARITY, incentive and inspiration to do more of what puts the light on in your eyes starting today ... not someday.

1. A Life We Love Is Often One Small Change Away

2. We’re Not Torn Between Two Worlds – We Have the Best of Both Worlds

3. Why Do We Keep Driving Into Hurricanes?

4. If We’re Lonely, We’re Not Paying Attention

5. Courage Is Trusting We Can Figure Things Out Along the Way

6. It’s Not Selfish To Put Yourself in Your Own Story

7. There Is No Present Like The Time To Do More of What Puts The Light On In Your Eyes

8. Figure Out What You Want to Do NEXT and Start Doing It NOW

9. Fun Is Not a Four-Letter Word

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One of the great joys of my life is having the opportunity to share my adventures/insights at conferences. If you're planning a program and would like a presentation that gives your participants an opportunity to connect, reflect, and identify what they can do to stop waiting and start creating a life where the light is on in their eyes, contact Cheri@IntrigueAgency.com. It'd be a pleasure and a privilege to share these inspiring stories with your group so they're creating the quality of life and work they want now, not someday.