Start with an OPEN Mind, Not the END In Mind

I have enjoyed every single moment of this private workshop at Monet's Garden with world-class photographers Charles Needle, Dewitt Jones and Jack H. Davis. I've had an opportunity to practice Bucky Fuller's advice to "Dare to become a beginner."

The other participants have years of experience and dozens of lens.  They wear vests with pockets and pull carry-ons stocked with different cameras, tripods and gear.

I am the rube of the group, armed solely with my trusty iPhone.

The good news is, these renowned photographers are all fans of the smart phon'es miraculous ability to allow almost anyone to create gee-whiz images right out of the gate.

One of my biggest lessons of this past week is to NOT follow Stephen Covey's advice to "Start with the end in mind."

It's far more important to start with an open mind.

Here's what I mean.

We trekked to nearby Vernon for a field trip to historical Notre Dame Collegiate Church that was build between the 11th and 16th century.

Charles told us we would discover magic inside if we kept our eyes open.

So I walked in, looking for things that got my eyebrows up - a sure sign of intrigue.

I saw the sun glowing on this baptismal and thought, "THAT'S interesting" and snapped this picture of it.

Now, this image is nothing "special" but it did capture that moment and it's a starting point.

As Dewitt says, there is more than one right answer ... so I kept playing.

Let's try this.

How about that?

Let's get closer.

Wow.  Look at that!!

I keep experimenting - letting my gut be my guide.

As Charles says, "You have permission to play.  There are no penalties. You can have as many do-overs and fresh starts as you'd like."

I kept experimenting with different points of view.

Little gasps of delight surrounded me as we all experienced the coalescing of something beautiful and unexpected come into focus.

It reminded me ... do you know how Einstein knew he had a good idea?  He laughed out loud.

I found myself laughing out loud with the sheer joy of what emerged in front of my eyes.

Carrie Fisher says "Instant gratification takes too long."

Well, that's one of the many miracles of taking and making images with your iPhone.

In seconds, you can capture and then create something that didn't exist a moment before.

And it's available to anyone with a smart phone who's willing to play.

Little could I gave predicted when I saw the sun glowing on that baptismal that a few shots later, it would turn into this ...

This, of course, is a metaphor waiting to happen.

First, may we all have the courage to try something new and dare to be a beginner.

Second, DON'T start with the end in mind.  Start with an open  mind.

There's no way I could have conjured up these "end" images in the beginning.  I didn't even know they were possible.

Third, keep paying attention to what gets your eyebrows up.  Then, keep playing until something clicks for you.

Then, click it.

Voila!  (When in France, use French sayings:-) ...you're becoming an artist.

It's fun, incredibly rewarding ... and available to ANYONE.

Get Out of Your Head and Come To Your Senses

I know it's a cliche; but have you ever seen anything so beautiful it took your breath away?

That's what happened this day last year when the historic floods cleared enough for our private photography workshop group - led by Charles Needle - to be let into Monet's Garden at 7 am sharp, before the public crowds.

I rounded a corner, and there was Monet's fabled lily pond and green arched bridge, framed by weeping willows and an abundance of living color. Palettes of pink , lilac, fuchsia, red and purple splashed across my vision ... and soul.

Dewitt (famed National Geographic photographer) and I agreed the gardens are a living, breathing testimony to Nature's abundance. What we experienced was the opposite of a perfectly manicured garden with neat rows, tightly clipped hedges and carefully controlled design.

We were surrounded by, as Dewitt put it ... a PROFUSION. I was intrigued with his just-right word and looked it up later. Profusion is defined as a "lavish display, extravagant."

That's exactly what was spread out before us and all around us. Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "The earth laughs in flowers."  I found myself laughing out loud with sheer joy at what was around me.

I felt pulled along the garden paths, drinking it all in, filled with a timeless sense of wonder.  The trees were teeming with the coos, calls, chirps and twerps of birds greeting the new day.

Author Frederick Franck suggests we could counteract our busyness and non-stop rushing by creating an “island of silence” by letting our eyes fall on whatever happens to be in front of us – a flower or tree – and that we “look at it until it looks back at us.”

That’s what I’m drawn to do.  And as I gaze at the beauty surrounding me, I get out of my head and "come to my senses." Don’t you just love that phrase?

I’m reminded of ‘dah talk I had with Tom and Andrew when it was time for them to head to Virginia Tech (Go Hokies). You know the one I’m talking about. Where we try to distill everything we know into a couple pieces of advice on how to create a quality life that matters? I dug deep and asked myself, “What do I know for sure?  If I could only pass along a few life lessons, what would those be?” Here's what I told them:

Imprint.  I told them, "Charles Bukowski said, 'The days race by like wild horses over the hills.' The good news is, you can counteract the fleeting nature of time by imprinting special moments. When you experience something that moves you, look around and take a mental snapshot of what it looks like, smells like, sounds like, feels like.   Then, you can revisit it and re-experience it anytime you want.

My second piece of advice? “If anything ever goes wrong, get out in nature. If you’re worried about a test, if for any reason you’re feeling bad or sad – get outside and look up.  You will instantly feel better because it’s impossible to be in nature without getting a big picture perspective that centers you in what really matters.”

The third?  If you're ever at a crossroads, need to make a decision and can’t make up your mind, take the bolder of the options.

That’s what my dad suggested when I was trying to decide what to major in in college. Career counselors were advising me to study medicine or law so I could leverage my brain.

But I had grown up playing sports and planned to help pay my way through college by running recreation departments. That's what I wanted to study - Recreation Administration. Some people said that was a "joke" career, but I wanted to do work I loved that mattered and that's what Rec. Admin. represented to me.

So, instead of "conforming" to a more traditional or "practical" path, I chose the bolder option, the one that put the light on in my eyes, and things have just gotten better and better ever since.

I told my sons that Dad's advice to take the bolder option has led to a life I love. “When we make safe decisions, a small part of us dies. If you're not sure what to do, do what puts the light on in your eyes.”

Both Tom and Andrew have told me those pieces of advice have come in handy over the years.

And last year, in Monet's Garden, I got to do for myself what I had recommended to them.  I traveled to France as a result of a bold decision to take off for a Year by the Water, a creative venture that absolutely put the light on in my yes. I looked up and around and immersed myself in Mother Nature, and imprinted every blessed moment of it.

Meister Ekhart said, “If the only prayer we ever said was ‘Thank you,’ that would be enough.” As I steeped myself in the splendor of that special place, I sent up, “Thank you, thank you, thank you.”

As I did, a duck swam into view. I laughed out loud as what popped into my head was … lucky duck.

I am indeed a lucky duck. And you will be too if you make a bold decision to take time off work this weekend and go somewhere beautiful that takes your breath away. It's summer. Do NOT be one of the 59% of Americans who do not take their full vacation days.

The clock is ticking. Not in a morbid way, in a motivating way.

Where is a place you've always wanted to visit - or a place that fills you with joy every time you go there? Get yourself there. And when you do, get out of your head and come to your senses. See, smell, hear and feel the sights and sounds. Look up and imprint. Send up your own "Thank you, thank you, thank you."

- - -

Sam Horn, Founder/CEO of the Intrigue Agency, is on a mission to help people create quality projects that add value for all involved. Her TEDx talk and books - POP!, Tongue Fu! and Washington Post bestseller Got Your Attention? - have been featured in NY Times, Forbes, INC and presented to NASA, Boeing, Intel, Cisco and YPO.

To See It is to Receive It

You've heard the saying, "To see it is to believe it." Well, being here in Claude Monet Gardens and Museum At Giverny, Franceas part of my YEAR BY THE WATER causes me to understand that:

"To see it is to receive it."

How could one look at Mother Nature's miracles and not be filled with wonder?

Years ago I wrote a book titled ‪#‎ConZentrate‬ that Stephen Covey recommended as "Fascinating, thought-provoking, motivating."

Although it sold well, was taught at NASA and featured on Dianne Rehm's NPR Show, my editor at St. Martin's Press, Jennifer Enderlin, told me it was "before its time."

Back then, many corporations or associations shied away from booking a program with Zen in the title. Too woo-woo.

Now, companies such as Goldman Sachs, General Mills and Google pay good money (smile) for courses on mindfulness and meditation. They understand the need and bottom-line payoff of their employees knowing how to stay focused and stay centered in our rush, rush, high-pressure, multi-tasking world.

There is a section in that book called "Now and Zen" with a chapter titled "Oh Say Do You See?" that features this quote from Henry Miller:

"The moment one gives close attention to anything, even a blade of grass, it becomes a mysterious, awesome, indescribably magnificent world in itself."

Miller's right.

However, to really see something takes time, and many of us don't take the time - or feel we have the time- to stop what we're doing and give this person, this place, this project our full focus.

In fact, many of us can probably relate to something my son Tom said during high school. The boys and I were discussing plans for the weekend over dinner. Tom looked a little distracted so I asked, "Tom, are you listening to me?"

"Sure, Mom," he said with a big smile. "You have my UNDEVOTED attention."

Out of the mouths of teens.

Because many of us are going, going, going from the moment we wake up to the moment we go to bed, it's easy for UNDEVOTED attention to become our default.

Yet the happiness we seek - the deep connectedness we yearn for, is available anytime we want - for a moment's notice.

My sons taught me the importance of putting myself on notice and of being here and how - instead of here, there and everywhere.

One night, while we still lived on Maui,I was giving Tom and Andrew their nightly back-rub after reading from their favorite book, Riptide.

We had created imaginative names for a menu of different types of back-rubs - bumper cars, finger rain, chop suey, slap happy. electricity.

But, that night, instead of being fully present and giving myself to what Thoreau called "the bloom of the present moment," I was a million miles away in my mind.

I was speaking on Oahu the next day and was preoccupied with, "What time is my plane again? When do I need to leave? Does the car need gas? Have I already packed my hand-outs?"

Then, for some blessed reason, my mind came out through my eyes and I saw Tom and Andrew as if for the first or last time.

And in that instant, an ordinary moment became an extraordinary moment. I was filled with gratitude for their health, for their being, for their joyful vitality ... for what Einstein called "knowledge curious."

I became re-awakened to how indescribably magnificent they were and how fortunate I was to be their mom.

How about you?

Do you have so much competing for your time and mind that you rarely really SEE anything?

Are you rushing through your days, feeling disconnected, giving UNDEVOTED attention to the people and places around you?

Anne Morrow Lindbergh said, "Perhaps we never really appreciate anything until it is challenged."

Could you promise yourself you will set aside five minutes today to stop what you're doing and give someone or something special your UNDIVIDED attention?

Could you put yourself on notice and really SEE this person, place or priority as if for the first or last time?

As soon as you do, you will feel deeply connected with them and viscerally grateful for them.

For those five "see and receive" moments, all will be right with your world.

Closed Door? Open Door?

Have you heard?

Paris is experiencing historic flooding, the worst in 34 years. Many institutions and visitor attractions (e.g., the Louvre) are closed.

That includes Monet's Garden in Giverny where I'm taking a private workshop with world-renowned photographers Charles Needle and Dewitt Jones.

I appreciate my fellow participants' response to the news. No pouts or complaints.

Everyone simply adjusted their mental lens and switched their focus to the many other metaphorical doors awaiting their attention and appreciation.

it reminded me of something that happened years ago when the boys were growing up on Maui.

We had planned a party following the final game of their soccer season. We rented the only public pool on the island, assigned food duties and ordered trophies.

(Yes, Tom and Andrew were part of the generation where every kid received a trophy. One time, I "rebelled" and ordered mugs with the team's picture, thinking the kids would enjoy having something they could use that would bring back fond memories of that season. Not a popular decision. Suffice it to say, we went back to trophies ... although we still use those mugs. Just saying:-)

The team won their final game so everyone headed to the pool in high spirits and with great expectations. We arrived with our floats, pool gear and water guns ... only to find the pool closed.

Bummer. We called the local park and recreation district. No answer. We rattled the padlocked gates. No luck. We walked around hoping to find another way in. Not happening.

The coach was fuming "I called them weeks ago to make this reservation. I've got the confirmation right here." The parents milled around, upset, aimless, unsure what to do.

The kids knew what to do. They grabbed a ball from the back of a van and seconds later, were laughing and having a great time playing an impromptu game of soccer on the concrete parking lot.

Hmmm. We parents looked at each other and realized we could still have our party right there in the parking lot. Out came the food, chairs and music, and moments later we were having a great time too.

Since then, every time a door (or pool) closes, I remember the lesson the kids' modeled for us that day and try to focus on Helen Keller's enduring insight:

"When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door we do not see the one which has opened for us."

How about you?

Have you had a door close recently on something you were counting on, something you were looking forward to?

Are you gazing at the closed door, upset, aimless, unsure what to do ... dwelling on how disappointing this is for you?

Could you instead adjust your mental lens and switch your focus to the open doors awaiting your attention and appreciation?

As Yousuf Karsh said, "The heart and mind are the true lens of the camera.

P.S.  Yes, I took these photos ... getting better at capturing images. It's easier when surrounded by the beauty of Giverny:-)

Abandon Absolutes

Several years ago, my friend Mary LoVerde (Oprah favorite and author of The Invitation) gave me a gift.

She took a week to work with me to feng shui my home, and in doing so, feng shui'd my life.

You may be familiar with Maria Kondo’s book The Life-changing Magic of Tidying Up.

That’s what Mary did for me. It was indeed a life-changing experience.

Here is just one of the metaphorical insights of those eye-opening days.

For anyone who knows me, it’s no surprise to learn I used to live neck-up. I lived in my brain, not my body. Material things didn’t matter much to me.

My bedroom faced Lake Audubon. Because it looked out on trees (not people’s houses) I didn’t have drapes on the windows so nothing obstructed my gaze outside.

Mary said, “Want to try some sheers on those windows?”

I stated rather unequivocally, ”Why? We can’t improve on Mother Nature.”

Mary smiled and said in her inimitably gentle way, “Well, let’s experiment. We can always take them back.”

So, we went to Bed, Bath and Beyond, my first trip ever to this domestic emporium.

I don’t know what came over me. I made my way to the curtain department, spied some diaphanous sheers with a delicate design, walked over, put my arms around them and said, “These.” We added some gold tassels, made some other purchases and headed home.

As soon as Mary put up the sheers, their sublime combination with the windows settled in my soul. I realized how RIGHT they were together.

What an epiphany. We can improve on Mother Nature. Water, trees and exquisite beauty weren’t an either/or … they were the best of BOTH worlds.

It made me wonder, “Where ELSE in my world was I making absolutes I should revisit? Where else had I reached unequivocal, either/or, right/wrong conclusions that were … wrong?”

One of the absolutes I decided to revisit was the promise I made to myself years ago to never read books in my genre.

This originated because of something that happened early in my career. A man came up to me after a Tongue Fu! workshop and said, “You must have read a lot of Tony Robbins. Your work is a lot like his.”

Maybe he meant it as a compliment, but it came across as if he thought I’d copied Tony’s work. I knew Tony (a little). He had been gracious enough to endorse myTongue Fu! book, and I could understand there might be some similarities in our approaches; but I certainly hadn’t ripped off his techniques and it bothered me that someone might think I had.

I realized I couldn’t control what other people thought; but I could be sure I wasn’t cribbing peers’ work by not reading their books. So, for years, I watchedCBS Sunday Morning, read newspapers and magazines and referenced people outside our industry; but was careful not to read peers’ work.

These last few months on my Year by the Water, I decided it was time to revisit that absolute. I started listening to and reading Elon Musk, Gloria Steinem, Cheryl Strayed, Mindy Kaling and Paulo Coehlo.

And, after the owner of the Stinson Beach book store recommended Elizabeth Gilbert’s new book EAT PRAY LOVE... MADE ME DO IT; I found myself inspired by the stories of individuals who had been moved to make changes because her book inspired them to realize, “Life doesn’t have to look like this.”

I know I’m getting ahead of myself, and realize this may sound rather grandiose  because the first book YEAR BY THE WATER hasn’t even come out yet.

However, I hope that someday there will be a follow-up book called YEAR BY THE WATER ... MADE ME DO IT.

The good news is, I’m already hearing inspiring stories of people who have been motivated to jump off their aircraft carrier career and explore other parts of the ocean.

I’m already hearing what’s happened as a result of someone putting a date on the calendar.

I’m already hearing how people are leaving room for whims, putting themselves in their own story, and seeing life as an open (not empty) nest.

So, here’s my request.

If any of these posts resonate with you and inspire you to do something different – whether it’s to appreciate your freedom of movement or to not wait for work you love – will you let me know?

With your permission, I’ll share your story with other people following this adventure.

Maybe your story will be the one that strikes a chord.

Maybe your tale of how you were motivated to abandon an absolute will be the one that shows them life doesn’t have to look like this and they choose to change things up (I love that phrase).

I look forward to hearing from you – as do others.

Put a Date on the Calendar

A toast to you today from my writing room – Domaine de la Corniche on the River Seine, Paris built in 1908 for the King of Belgium  - complete with Handel’s Water Music playing in the background. Did you know this adventure almost didn’t happen?

If you've been following these posts on my SerenDestiny site, you're already familiar with the initial catalyst behind my ‪Year by the Water. 

After I told my son Andrew I was exhausted and didn’t even want to get on a plane that night, he said: “Mom, there’s something about you I don’t understand. You’ve created a life where you can do anything you want … and you’re not taking advantage of it.”

Wow. The instant he said it, I knew he was right.

Yet it took me TWO YEARS to act on his insight.

It wasn’t until I had an epiphany about what exactly I was going to do differently - and put a date on the calendar - that this went from being ephemeral to empirical.

Instead of just wishfully thinking about visiting bodies of water and writing about them, it became something real I started planning.

Something similar happened years before.

I lived on Lake Audubon outside of Washington DC. Every Memorial day, they host Jim McDonnell 1 and 2 mile Lake Swims. It was literally in my back yard, so my dog Murph and I went over to check it out.

After an inspiring rendition of the Star Spangled Banner from a local violinist, they started sending off nationally-ranked competitors and then the age groups. 30-40 age group. 40-50 50-60. 60-70. 70-80. 80 and above.

80 and above?! I watched these fit octogenarians splash into the lake and asked myself, “What’s my excuse?!”

See, I used to be a competitive swimmer/coach. I swam for my small town team growing up and for my high school, and coached for my local recreation district in Auburn. As a college student, I took an advanced fitness class at Sac State where Mark Sullivan (future Olympic coach) told me I had one of the most natural backstrokes he’d even seen. When I lived in Hawaii, I swam at dawn with my friend Dorothy Douthit atAla Moana Beach Park and competed in the 2.4 mile Waikiki Roughwater Swim.

Here I was though, living on a lake and across from a pool, and I wasn’t swimming at all. No excuse!

This time however, instead of simply telling myself I “should” get back into swimming, I came home, logged on to my computer, searched for the Waikiki Rough Water Swim website and registered.

The instant I acted, I became accountable.

This was no longer just an idea, it was a commitment. I needed to book flights/hotels, and schedule in training swims before Labor Day weekend so I wouldn’t embarrass myself.

We turned it into a family holiday. Andrew swam in the race (and beat me, the noogie). Tom served as land crew and long-time friends Dianne Gerard, Traci Bennet and Leslie Horn were there at the finish line on the beach at Hilton Hawaiian Village Waikiki Beach Resort to help celebrate.

Back to my Year by the Water. The second I put OCTOBER 1 on the calendar as the official day I would head out on my adventure, it became a PROJECT.

That abstract  idea now had FORM  with practical logistics that needed to be figured out. What was I going to do with my house, my belongings, my mail, my car? How much speaking, consulting was I going to do? Where would I go first ... and next? How would we (my sister Cheri Grimm and I) run my business from the road?

To put this in perspective, if I hadn’t put a date on the calendar, I wouldn't be here in France about to attend a private workshop at Monet's Garden. That idea would probably still be in my head and I’d be thinking about doing it … someday. As they say, someday is not a day on the calendar.

How about you?

Tony Robbins says, “A real decision is measured by the fact that you've taken a new action. If there's no action, you haven't truly decided.”

What is something you’d like to experience or achieve by the end of this year?

Want to travel someplace new? Compete in an event? Honor your mom and dad’s 50th wedding anniversary? Plan a reunion with some college friends? Re-activate a once beloved skill?

Put a date on the calendar. The second you do, that intention will start becoming a reality instead of wishful thinking.

Why Do We Love Water?

I re-connected with a fellow TLC (Transformational Leadership Council) member recently and we had an intriguing conversation about why we're drawn to water. Rick lives on a houseboat in Sausalito, CA. He told me he “loves the flexibility of living on the water, because it’s fluid, always moving, forever changing.”

Agreed. I love water for a lot of reasons.

It’s not just that water feels like “home.” (After all, we are, all of us, bodies of water.)

It’s not just that water is beautiful, calming and inspiring … all at the same time.

It’s not just that water is a muse. (Much like some people drop into a hypnotic state gazing at fire, I lose myself in a writer’s reverie while gazing at and working by water.)

It’s not just that it’s the perfect forum for freedom of movement. (We can swim in water. Float on it. Sail, boat; paddle board, raft and surf on it. Dive in it. Walk and run around it. Splash, play and revel in it.)

For me, it’s the dynamism of water that makes my soul sing. The multi-faceted nature of it. The many yin-yang forms of it. The metaphorical epiphanies facilitated and fostered by it.

Just think of all the thought-provoking quotes associated with water.

1. “I feel most at home in the water. I disappear. That's where I belong.” – Michael Phelps (Me too. I feel at home by, in, on and around water. Although I don’t disappear. I come alive.)

2. “To have faith is to trust yourself to the water. When you swim you don't grab hold of the water, because if you do you will sink and drown. Instead you relax, and float.” – Alan Watts (Yes, I trust and am relaxing into this experience. When people ask how my Year by the Water is going, I tell them, “Swimmingly.”)

3. “The cure for anything is salt water: sweat, tears or the sea.” – Isak Dineson (It rarely happens, but if something goes wrong, all I have to do it get in water and it washes away the worries.)

4. “Being on a boat that's moving through the water, it's so clear. Everything falls into place in terms of what's important and what's not.” – James Taylor (Agreed. Water produces clarity and instant perspective.)

5. “The golden moments in the stream of life rush past us, and we see nothing but sand; the angels come to visit us, and we only know them when they are gone.” - George Eliot (One of the reasons I set out on my Year by the Water adventure is because I wanted to experience the angels and imprint the golden moments now, not some day in the far off future … or never.)

6. “Time is a river which carries me along, but I am the river.” – Jorge Louis Borges (Water and time are indeed Rorschach tests. How we view

them often reveals how we view ourselves.)

6. “Luck affects everything. Let your hook always be cast; in the stream where you least expect it there will be a fish.” – Ovid (I am reveling in open days. They are lucky hooks that catch unexpected streams of blessings.)

7. “I do not know what I may appear to the world, but to myself I seem to have been only like a boy playing on the seashore, and diverting myself in now and then finding a smoother pebble or a prettier shell than ordinary, whilst the great ocean of truth lay all undiscovered before me.” – Isaac Newton (People ask where I’m going to return to when my year’s up. I’m not going to return to anything. I’m not going back to who I was or where I lived. There’s an ocean of truths I’ve yet to explore. Onward. )

As I travel around the country and visits oceans, bays, waterways, streams, rivers and waterfalls … I am thrilled with their capacity to fill me with wonder, appreciation and awe.

Water has become a non-negotiable for me. I’ve lived around and by the water for the past 29 years (Hawaii for 17 years and then on Lake Audubon and Lake Thoreau in Virginia for 12 years)

When it’s time to find my next home (I’ve realized I don’t want to SETTLE DOWN. What a depressing phrase. Settle means compromise and down equals depressed), I want to be like the settlers.

The settlers headed west, exploring new country, scouting for a home that had just the right elements. Water. Good soil. Trees. Mountains. A way to do business or earn a living. When they found the right combination of elements, they didn’t settle down, they SETTLED IN.

At some point, I will be ready to SETTLE IN. Not yet.

When it’s time, like the settlers, my next home will be by water. For me, water is at the core of a right life

How about you?;

Do you love the water? Why?

What role does it play in your life?

How does it inspire you, center you, feed your soul, facilitate your creativity?

I look forward to hearing what water means to you and how you keep it in your life.

Do you Have Space to Create - Room to Think?

I was on the West Coast recently presenting "Got Your Attention" for a conference. At the speaker dinner, we were going around the table with a "Review - Preview." Each of us had a chance to reflect back on the first six months of the year and share a couple of highlights - and then look ahead and share what we were looking forward to in the second half of the year.

I told the group about my Year by the Water. The woman next to me asked, "What's your favorite place so far?"

I told her,  "It's not really the places that I remember.  I've been fortunate to travel to some really marvelous places - Maui,  Morro Bay, Marina del Ray - but what really stands out are the experiences and epiphanies."

She asked, "Like what?"

I thought about it for a moment and lit up with a memory.   "Here's an example. I'm driving along in the middle of Texas listening to the Audible version of Gloria Steinem's My Life on the Road.

I had pictured Texas as flat, barren and hot.  But this was Texas hill country in spring.  Much to my surprise,  everything was green, rolling and beautiful.  I am reveling, reveling, reveling because everything I see is new.  All is right with my world.

Gloria was talking about Virginia Woolf's insight that "Every woman needs a room of her own.

I started laughing out loud.  Even though I was "all my myself," what burst out of my mouth was, 'I have a ROAD of my own.'

That's one of my favorite memories of this adventure.  I love having an open road and open space." 

Several years ago, I had the opportunity to train the President and International Board of Entrepreneurs Organization in public speaking.

Our meeting was at the top of CEB - the Corporate Executive Board Building-  looking out over the Potomac River and the Lincoln Memorial where Martin Luther King gave his "I Have a Dream" speech that inspired millions and helped changed the course of our nation.

That night, we went to Lincoln's Cottage in Northwest DC for a private dinner.  This is where President Abraham Lincoln rode his horse from the White House to write the Emancipation Proclamation.

I got there an hour early, before any of the EO'ers arrived.

As I walked in, it was as if the walls were whispering to me, "Space to think.  Space to think."

The cottage was very spare. Each room only had a handful of items.  A table. A chair.  Maybe a picture on a wall.  That was it.

I got it. This was where Lincoln came to escape the "madding crowd' and be alone with his thoughts.

This was where he could temporarily be free from his many obligations and demands.

This is where he found solitude and was able to both reflect and think ahead, and conjure up visionary words that that also changed the course of our nation.

Time, space and freedom to reflect, think  ahead and be alone with my thoughts is a primary reason I am loving every moment of my Year by the Water.

I had a great life before this.  However, like everyone, I had obligations and demands and not much time, space or freedom to  be alone with my thoughts, much less reflect upon and write about  those thoughts.

Now I do.  Bliss.

How about you?

Do you have time, space and freedom to be by yourself?

Do you have a room - a road - of your own?

Do you ever get a respite from your obligations and demands?

Many of our greatest creative minds talk(ed) about their need for solitude.  This is where they did their greatest work. This is where they were able to dig deep, without distraction, and conjure up new ideas, visionary documents, first-of-its-kind art.

I'm sharing a few favorite quotes about solitude (with some comments about them).

I hope they catalyze reflection (and maybe even a conversation with friends and family) about your own personal and professional need for solitude and a room/road of your own.  Hope you find them inspiring and thought-provoking.

1.  "A man can be himself only so long as he is alone, and if he does not love solitude, he will not love freedom, for it is only when he is alone that he is really free."  - Arthur Schopenhauer  (That's what being alone means to me.  Total freedom to go where I want, when I want, do what I want, with whom I want.)

2.  "We need society, and we need solitude, as we need summer and winter, day and night, exercise and rest." - Phillip G. Hamerton  (Agreed.  I don't want to be by myself all the time.  I don't want to be around people all the time.  I want, need and enjoy both. Solitude and society are two sides of the coin of creativity.)

3.  "Being solitary is being alone well: luxuriously immersed in doings of your own choice, aware of the fullness of your own presence rather than of the absence of others."  Alice Koller   (When I am writing in nature, hours go by and I'm not even aware of the passage of time.  I am totally immersed. It is presence, not absence.)

4.  "To go out with the setting sun on an empty beach is to truly embrace your solitude." - Jeanne Moreau (If the sun, ocean, birds, sand and wind are there ... the beach is alive, not empty.)

5.  "The more powerful and original a mind, the more it will incline towards the religion of solitude."  - Aldous Huxley  (The best solitude is indeed a deeply spiritual, holy experience.)

6.  "It is only in solitude that I ever find my own core." - Anne Morrow Lindbergh (What a wise woman.  How I wish I could have walked the beach with her, shared the gifts of the sea with her.)

7.  "When you acknowledge the integrity of solitude, and settle into its mystery, your relationships with others take on a new warmth, adventure and wonder." - John O'Donahue (You've heard the saying "Absence makes the heart grow fonder?"  The luxury of alone time makes people time even sweeter ... because it's rarer.)

8.  "Women need real moments of solitude and self-reflection to balance out how much of ourselves we give away." - Barbara de Angelis  (Truth.  In solitude, we give our attention to our work and our surroundings, however we receive so much back.  It is energizing and fulfilling rather than draining or exhausting.)

9.  "Who hears music feels his solitude peopled at once." - Robert Browning   A woman asked, "Don't you get lonely?"  I told her, "I'm never lonely as long as I have a good book, good music and can write.  And I'm never alone because my friends/family are with me, even with they're not with me.  I ride a river of relationships, everywhere, always.")

Do You Have "Inside-itus?" Get Outside and Indulge in Some Forest-Bathing - aka Shinrin Yoku

I've been inside all week with phone, Skype & in-person consults. I really enjoy the people I get to work with. It's a pleasure and privilege helping people get quality books, presentations and businesses out in the world.

At the same time, the hotel I''m staying at doesn’t have "open-able" windows. You can LOOK out its huge floor to ceiling windows, but you can't open them to get fresh air.

An architect told me this "sleek design" saves considerable money, energy and maintenance, but it means there’s no fresh air, ever.   I had “inside-itus.”

In that moment on the treadmill, I didn’t even care that it was raining outside, I had a NEED FOR GREEN.

So, I jumped off the treadmill and headed outside.

The left side of the hotel parking lot led to a busy street. The right side was bordered by a tree-lined back road that led behind a parking garage. That back road beckoned to me so I thought I’d explore it.

Look what I discovered 100 yards (!) away. A lovely park with colorful flowers, a pond, winding path and a WATER FOUNTAIN.

Aaahhh … what a metaphor.

What could we discover if we just got off the treadmill? What’s hidden delights are on the other side of the parking garage? What magical discoveries await us ... outside our front door?

Many of us spend 20 hours+ a day inside, and many of us SIT twelve or more hours a day.

We live in a house, condo or apartment building. We work at home or commute to an office, factory, store, our company’s headquarters. We go to movies, restaurants and malls. We commute to and from work in a car, Metro, train or bus.

Meanwhile, nature sits outside waiting for us to re-notice and re-experience her miracles.

Our bodies, our souls, are yearning for fresh air.

I found myself feeling positively joyous as I trekked around the lake on the lush green grass, singing to myself.

I’ve written before about the phenomenon of Shinrin-Yoku.org, a Japanese term for FOREST-BATHING.

As I bathed my spirit in the forest of trees surrounding this oasis of nature, I kept wondering “WHY do I feel so happy here?”

Well, I'm near water and I'm forest-bathing, but then it occurred to me, my eyes were being drawn upward to gaze at and drink in nature's lush green canopy.

That's why it was such an uplifting experience.  Thinks were, literally and figuratively, looking up.

So it is.

We’ve all seen, heard or read research that shows how our body languae influences our mood.

When we’re feeling down, we’re often looking down.

One way to change that is to look up. The very act of lifting our gaze lifts our spirits.

When we look up at and feast on green nature, our souls are nourished.  When we raise our eyes, we raise our spirits.

Promise yourself, this weekend, you’ll get up off the couch, out of the Lazy Boy, out from behind your desk, laptop or digital divice ... and head outside to counter-act "inside-itis."

Whether it’s to work in your garden or backyard, go for a walk or run, head to a local park, beach or forest trail, shore, whatever … just get outside.

Look up. Look around. Breathe in. Aaaahhhhh.  Thinks are looking up.

Has My Career Become an Aircraft Carrier?

 I had the pleasure of sharing my "What's Your Legacy Message?" workshop with ‪#‎CAM‬ - Conversation Among Masters - last week in Las Vegas.

This is a unique group of the world's top master coaches who have the tangible joy of doing work they love that matters.

The thing is, many have been doing this type of work for 20-30 years.

What can we do NEXT when we really like where we are?  How can we evolve and move forward in fresh, perhaps even more meaningful, ways instead of doing what we've always done?

Many participants came up after my workshop to tell me my "aircraft carrier" metaphor really resonated with them.

One said, "I never saw my career as an aircraft carrier. Now that I do, I see how easy it would be to just keep steaming along in the same direction unless I choose to do things differently."

I shared with the group that a Navy pilot who used to fly off aircraft carriers told me something about them I've never forgotten.

"Do you know how you STOP an aircraft carrier? You DON'T. You can turn off the engines, but it keeps going for miles because of its mass and momentum. Even if you put the engines in FULL REVERSE, it takes up to 4 miles to come to a complete halt. Just to TURN an aircraft carrier can take up to 10 miles."

I shared that one of the reasons I decided to take off on my YEAR BY THE WATER adventure is because I realized my life/work had become an aircraft carrier, A GOOD one, but still, an aircraft carrier.

I'd lived in the same area for 14 years. I've been speaking, writing and consulting for 25 years. I've engaged in the same hobbies/habits for 30 years.

There was nothing WRONG with my life. I was happy. I loved my family, friends, job, the people I get to work with, where I lived.

But if we agree with Jeff Bezos that it's a danger not to evolve ...

If we agree with Helen Keller that life is abundant and supposed to be an adventure, an experiment ...

And I do ...

Then it was time to jump off the carrier and do something different.

It's a big ocean out there and I was only seeing/experiencing part of it.

In our program, I shared many reasons people DON'T get off their aircraft carriers. Responsibilities. Obligations. People depending on them. Fear. Bills to pay. Perceived lack of money or education. The default of habits. The anchor of the status quo.

Some of us simply don't know what to do next and we're not about to abandon a "sure thing" for the uncertain.

We addressed those "barriers to exit," and I shared inspiring success stories of people who overcame their initial "failure to launch."

I shared that one barrier that's come up for me, and that seems to be an issue for many people, is that jumping off an aircraft carrier can come across as "selfish" when we have others relying on us.

Such is the case for George R.R. Martin. Yes, the author of the incredibly successful Game of Thrones series.

I read a startling excerpt from a Daily Mash interview where GRRM (as he's called in the biz) said,

“I was a hundred thousand words into Winds of Winter. I’ve got armies in one continent, zombies in another, dragons burning things all over the place and numerous uninteresting sub-plots involving minor noblemen whose names I cannot currently recall. It is, by anyone’s reckoning, a ... nightmare.

I was looking at several more months of inhumanly hard graft and even then everyone is bound to slag it off as ‘unsatisfying’.

Meanwhile it is a lovely day outside and I am an older man with more money than I can possibly ever spend.

You tell me why I should finish this? It’s an honest question. Someone else can do it if they like, I’m cool with that.”

WOW. George R. R. Martin is seriously considering JUMPING SHIP.

As you can imagine, his publisher, HBO and millions of fans are pressuring him not to. They want, need, expect him to continue producing the books they love.

The question is, "WHOSE LIFE IS IT ANYWAY?"

After dedicating decades of his life to creating a series that has delighted people around the world and made millions of dollars - for him and others - does he have the RIGHT to do what HE wants at this stage of his career and life?  To put his commitments aside and enjoy the lovely day outside?

Who is he beholden to? His fans and followers? Or himself?

How about you?

Has your life and career become an aircraft carrier? A successful aircraft carrier? Will you keep steaming along because lots of people are counting on you to keep doing what you're doing? At what cost?

Do you have the right to do what YOU want? Is that selfish? Whose life is it, anyway?

Even if your life and career are headed in good directions, are they the SAME directions they've been going in for decades?

Is it time to evolve, to explore other areas of the ocean you haven't yet seen?

There are options of course.

Maybe we don't have to jump off the carrier. Maybe we just fly off the carrier now and then to take side trips. Maybe we can turn the carrier in new directions, explore different parts of the ocean, stop in new ports.

What are your thoughts about this?

It's Not Selfish To Put Yourself in the Story

Yesterday was Mother's Day ... and I got the world's best Mother's Day present. Both my sons - and their lady loves Miki and Patty - told me they were proud of me.

Andrew said, "Mom, you're killing it. You've totally uprooted your life. You're eating healthier than you ever have. You're doing what you really want to do.   I'm proud of you."

Tom said, "You're in your sixties and you're finally putting yourself in the story."

Their feedback led to an epiphany.

You know what adult kids really want for their parents?  They want us to be healthy and happy.

And I am fortunate to be both.

I set out on my Year by the Water seven months ago for a lot of reasons - many of which I'm sharing on my SerenDestiny website.

At the time I didn't realize I was pursuing what author Paulo Coelho calls our "personal legend."

Have you read his classic book The Alchemist?  Many people have told me it was their favorite book, but for some reason I never read it.

Now I know why.  I was supposed to listen to it.

So it was that while driving from Florida to North Carolina last week,  I was swept up in Coelho's story of the shepherd Santiago as he journeys to the Pyramids in search of treasure.  Along the way, he encounters characters who embody the facets of the prism that unfold when we pursue our personal legend.

He meets a crystal shop owner who lives with regrets because he never summoned the courage to answer his calling, change his life and do what he really wanted to do..

It gave me pause.

Tom and Andrew talked about me being in my 60's.  I don't see myself as a boomer, although I am, and I never really think about my age.  (They always say we feel like we're in our thirties on the inside, and that's true for me. How about you?)

Many people call what I've done "brave."  They see it as risky or scary.

But I don't think about it as being brave, and I don't see my travels as risky or scary.

What is scary to me is the regrets I would have had if I had ignored the nudges that were calling me to set out on this adventure to explore our country's bodies of water and write about them.   The true risk would have been to miss out on the deeply rewarding treasures I've experienced in the past few months.

Are you a boomer?

Now is the time to do what you've always wanted to do.  You have eared the right.   You have spent most of your life serving and taking care of others.  It is fair for you to put yourself in your own story.  As the saying goes, if not now, when?

And in case you're wondering, I don't think it's selfish for us to do what we've always wanted to do - whether that's to go to rock and roll camp, move to Paris for a month, or take up paddle-boarding.

I'm still sussing out the part about this being "selfish," but Iv'e come to believe that the people around us want us to be happy and healthy.

They want us to take better care of ourselves.

They want us to do what puts the light on in our eyes.

They want to know it's possible to change our life - for the better - at any age.

When we do this for ourselves, we model to others that it's possible.  Our example may be just what they need to have the clarity and courage to do this for themselves.

I thought of titling this post  .... Boomer or Later.  But then I realized two things.

#1.  The message of this is actually ... Sooner, not later.

#2.  This message applies to adults of all ages, in their twenties and in their sixties.

Is something calling you?  Nudging you?  Set it in motion.

If you're a parent or grandparent, trust that what your loved ones want is for you to love them and for you to love your life.

If you're in the first half of your life, trust that taking a job that "pays the bills" but sucks the soul out of you is NOT what you're supposed to be doing with your time and talent. Get busy finding and aligning with people who love their life and are doing work that matters that puts the light on in their eyes and the eyes of others.

You will never regret answering what's calling you.

You will never regret honoring what's knocking on your heart.

You will only regret not doing it ... sooner.

Zach the Dolphin

Actress Amy Poehler says, "I get a little itchy if I don’t have some kind of control.” Want to know one of the most important discoveries I’ve made on My Year by the Water?

I get a little itchy if I don’t have some kind of ... freedom.

This was brought home a couple months ago when I cracked my ribs while in Portland speaking at a conference. I tumbled down some steps leading into a hotel parking lot. I sat there. stunned at the suddenness of it all.  One moment I’m fine, the next moment I’m in a heap on the ground.

Those first few weeks, I didn’t know when my ribs would heal, or God forbid, if they would heal. The pain and loss of mobility made me yearn for the luxury of being able to get up and go anywhere, anytime, do anything.

Please understand: I realize there are MILLIONS (no exaggeration) of people who have pain and have lost their freedom of moment through no fault of their own. Wounded veterans, people with dire health challenges, people with loved ones who are seriously ill … so I am 100% clear that my sore ribs were a “first world problem” and minor in comparison to what many  are dealing with.

All is can say is those few weeks of reduced mobility was a tangible reminder to be grateful every single day for the blessing of being able to get up and go, bend, reach, turn, lift, swim, walk and move .... without pain.

Freedom of movement is also a metaphor.

The past few decades have been packed with commitments.

Commitments for Tom and Andrew's school and sports activities, commitments to speak, consult, meet deadlines, be here at this time, do this at that time, get from here to there by a certain time.

And I’m enormously grateful for all those commitments as I am blessed to be a mom and to have the privilege of doing work I love that matters with people I enjoy and respect.

On this Year by the Water. I've been experimenting by doing the OPPOSITE OF MY ALWAYS.

For example, I had just finished speaking in Tampa and was supposed to take the train to Savannah where I was speaking next.

And suddenly, seven hours on a train seemed overwhelmingly CONFINING. There's no autonomy on a train. If you see something intriguing, you don't have the option to stop and explore it. The train just whizzes on by.

I realized what I was yearning for was ... freedom of movement.

So, I cancelled the train and started driving. And the smile was back on my face and in my heart in minutes.

I deliberately did not lock myself into a pre-arranged plan. Instead of making hotel reservations, I gave myself total freedom to make it up as I went along, to be responsive to my surroundings and adapt accordingly.

So, I was driving along and checked the map to see what lay ahead.

89 miles ahead was Marineland in St. Augustine, Florida, founded in 1938 (!), the world’s first oceanarium, and the first to offer a dolphin encounter-immersion program.

SOLD! Which is how I found myself swimming with ZACH THE DOLPHIN under a clear blue sky.

What a thrill it was to get in that water, meet Zach face to face, stroke his rubbery skin and look him in the eye.

There was only three of us in our group so our guide turned it into a mini-training session. She asked me, "Would you like to give Zach a command?" Would I?!

She said, "Point your finger to the sky."

I pointed my finger to the sky ad Zach stood on his tail and took off across the pool. She said, "Now circle your finger three times. I cricled my finger three times and Zach dove down deep, then LEAPT out of the water and did a triple back flip.

ZOWEE. What a THRILLING, JOYOUS moment.

And to think I didn’t even know about Zach 24 hours earlier.

What a powerful reminder of what a blessing it is to have autonomy, freedom of movement – both physically and metaphorically - and to experience the sheer delight of joyous discovery.

How about you?

Have your weeks, months, years been filled with commitments

Are you ready to do the opposite of your always and give yourself an opportunity to make it up as you go?

Are you blessed to have freedom of movement?  What are you going to do to celebrate the privilege of being able to get up and go where you want, do what you want - even if it's for a day or an afternoon?

Roads Less Traveled

I'd like to introduce my new friend ... GPS.. Can you believe, before this trip, I never used GPS?

I remember when my son Tom, a recent graduate of Virginia Tech, moved from Reston, VA to Houston to start working at Mission Control at Johnson Space Center.

I asked him, 'What route are you going to take? Through the Smoky Mountains or along the Gulf Coast?"

He looked at me like I was crazy and said, "GPS, Mom."

I now know what he means.

After crisscrossing the country from coast to coast, I don't know how I could have navigated it without its much-welcomed voice telling me where to turn and when.

I'm also grateful to the little GPS lady for helping me discover treasures off the beaten (or grid-locked) path.

I was driving from Duck, NC to Washington DC on the notorious 95. This was a Sunday, not a work day, so there shouldn't have been much traffic, right?

Wrong!  95 was backed up for miles. Thank heaven, the trusty little GPS lady pinged me with a "faster route now available."

But it wasn't just a faster route ... it was a fresher route.

I've traveled that stretch of 95 dozens of times. Been there, driven that. But I've never explored the green back roads through rolling horse country and experienced the charming small towns that exist minutes away from that congested interstate.

I couldn't get over the fact that I might not have ever known about this lovely part of Virginia if it hadn't been for that "detour."  I also couldn't get over the fact that this unexpected beauty ran almost parallel, often less than a mile away, from that crowded highway.

Metaphorically speaking, it made me wonder what other "roads less traveled" exist off our beaten path?

Where else are we taking an obvious, habitual route instead of exploring different options?

Where else are we settling for crowded paths instead of striking out on our own?

What delights await us if we dare to do the new instead of the tried and true?

Another well-deserved shout-out to Audible, my constant driving companion on my Year by the Water.

Over the last 10,000 miles (really, started Oct. 1 and my loyal Toyota Highlander just logged its 10,420th mile), I have never been alone or lonely.

First, because I stay connected via a current of loving relationships with my friends and family who are with me -  even when they're not with me.

Second, because I've laughed out loud, reflected, been endlessly intrigued and even shed some tears as I listen to fascinating authors share their life stories and insights.

A favorite has been Gloria Steinem's "My Life on the Road." In her thought-provoking memoir,  she recalls campaigning for both Barack Obama and Hilary Clinton as they competed for the 2008 Democratic nomination. When it was time to make a choice, she couldn't make up her mind who to endorse.

She finally had an epiphany.

Barack Obama would probably NOT feel betrayed or lose the nomination if she did not endorse him. But Hilary might; so she endorsed Hilary.

Hmmm ....

Back to deciding which routes to take in our life.

I think, at some level, we betray ourselves when we consistently take the crowded route.

A more interesting life lies just off the congested path.

A more memorable, meaningful life unfolds when we have the courage and curiosity to strike out on our own and take roads less traveled.

Your thoughts?

Rediscover the Stroll

In a few minutes, I'll be out on that powder white sand beach.   And I won't be going for a power walk; I'll be going for a stroll.

Please understand; I believe in power walks. For the first few decades of my life, I was a competitive swimmer, tennis player and runner. Since then I've been a walker.

When you've been an athlete, the carry-over mindset when going for a walk is to go fast, get your heart pumping, and NOT STOP.

Stopping is quitting. Stopping is contrary to the goal of getting a work-out. Stopping is for wimps. Then one day, while on my daily lake walk with my dog Murphy in Reston, Virginia, I impulsively stopped at Gratitude Bench.

And Nature came and rolled at my feet.

All of a sudden, I could hear a variety of birds doing the original tweet. Much to my pleasant surprise, there was Mr. Blue Heron nesting in a nearby tree. A gentle breeze ruffling the leaves. The exquisite sounds of almost silence. I wouldn't have even noticed them if I had power-walked by.

Since then, I alternate "work-out walks" with strolls.

As former National Geographic photographer Dewitt Jones says, "There is more than one right answer."

The past few days, I've been exploring Saint Petersburg, Florida with my friend Judy Gray.  We've had the most wonderful strolls. Impulsively stopping here, checking out that path, wandering down that road, turning around to look at where we've just been. Pausing to imprint.

Judy likens it to going for a walk with her beloved dogs. They turn every walk into an exploration. Sniff, sniff, Tails up. Eyes bright. It doesn't matter if they've taken their neighborhood walk a hundred times before - it's still new and intriguing to them. Still a source of joy.

Judy said something profound. "We don't really experience a place until we walk it."

In the past five months as part of My Year by the Water, I've crisscrossed the country from Marina Del Rey to Chesapeake Bay ... twice. I've had the pleasure of staying at dozens of water-front resorts from Pensacola to Portland, the Hawaiian Islands to Hilton Head Island.

And Judy's right. I can SEE a town by driving through or around it. But I don't really feel I've EXPERIENCED it unless I've explored it on my own two feet.

It's the difference between being a spectator and a participant.

So, I will continue to power walk to get my heart pumping, my blood flowing and my body moving. And I will also set out on leisurely strolls so I can experience the world with newly aware eyes and an even more appreciative heart.

I will walk and roll AND stop and stroll.

How about you? What does walking mean to you and do for you? How does it help you achieve SerenDestiny - a life where the light is on in your eyes?

Honor the Nudges

"There is a voice that speaks without words. Listen." - Rumi I re-read my Year by the Water manifesto that was downloaded to me while driving along California's Pacific Coast Highway. And I'm reminded that my original plan was to not plan every minute of every day. I had promised to do the "opposite of my always" and cooperate with what wanted to happen instead of control it.

Hmm. I'm in Tampa and I'm supposed to take an overnight train to Savannah where I'll be speaking in a few days.

However, a little voice whispers in my year, "You don't have to take the train. There are no options on trains. If you see something intriguing, too bad, so sad. You don’t have freedom to get off and explore it. You just whiz on by. Why not drive?"

Sounds good. I cancel the train and start driving. Instead of locking myself into a hotel reservation for that night, I decide to make it up as I go and respond to whatever catches my interest.

I check the map to see what's ahead. Wow. Marineland, the world’s first oceanarium and the first in the United States to offer a dolphin encounter, is 89 miles away in St. Augustine. I've always wanted to swim with dolphins. Here's my chance. I call and ask, "Any openings for this afternoon?"

They do, which is how a couple hours later, I find myself swimming with Zach The Dolphin. What a thrill to get in the water, meet Zach face to face, stroke his rubbery skin and look him in the eye.

There's only three of us in our group so our guide turns it into a mini-training session. She asks, “Would you like to give Zach a command?”

"Would I like to give Zach a command?!"

She tells me, “Point your finger to the sky.”

I do as she says. Zach stands on his tail and zooms across the pool.

He swims back for his fish treat and waits, eyes bright, for what's next.

The trainer says, “This time, circle your finger three times."

I point my finger to the sky and twirl it three times. Zach takes off, dives deep,then LEAPS out of the water into a triple back flip.

I can't help myself. I thrust both arms into the air in an exultant Y (think Y-M-C-A.)

The unexpectedness of it all fills me with joy. I didn't even know Zach existed a few hours before!

This never would have happened if I'd locked myself into a pre-determined destination that would have put blinkers on my day. This delightful discovery happened because I honored my instincts and left room for whims.

What is a whim? It's a "Sudden desire or change of mind, especially one that is unusual, unexplained."

I believe whims are more than a sudden change of mind. They may seem "out of the blue," but I believe these serendipitous experiences happen for a reason. They are our best future meeting us halfway.

Here's what I mean. I saw security consultant Gavin de Becker, author of The Gift of Fear, interviewed on TV. He told the reporter he learned something profound after debriefing people who had been assaulted or kidnapped. His first question to them was, "Did you have any warning?"

Guess what they all said? "I knew something was wrong." Their gut told them they were in danger, but they let their intellect over-ride their instincts. They looked around and thought, "It's broad daylight. I'm in an armored car. I'm being silly." They discounted their sixth sense.

I think a lot of us discount our sixth sense. We honor our intellect instead of our instincts. We get these intuitive nudges, these alerts, but we ignore them. Or we get whims, but we're too busy to follow up on them.

My epiphany was, "If we have instincts that alert us when something's about to go WRONG; don't we also have instincts that alert us when something's about to go RIGHT?"

If we have a sixth sense that alerts us to DISSONANCE (something to avoid, run from) doesn't it also alert us to RESONANCE (something to approach, head towards)?

I've come to believe that when something catches our attention - for better or for worse - we need to pay attention. If our gut instincts are telling us this situation is toxic, head the other direction. If our gut instincts are telling us this is a congruent opportunity, head toward it.

Louis Pasteur said, "Chance favors the prepared mind." I believe chance favors the aligned mind. I have learned, that is I get a whim that's in alignment with my instincts and interests, I should carve out time to pursue it. Every time I do, I am delighted with a congruent discovery I wouldn't have experienced otherwise.

Whims aren't an accident. They are not simply a coincidence, blind luck or serendipity. The universe is showing off. It is working overtime to connect you with someone or something that will enhance your life. Whims are your best future meeting you halfway.

Dr. Wayne Dyer said, "If prayer is you talking to God, intuition is God talking to you."

Do you honor your instincts? Your sixth sense? Do you listen to the voice that doesn't use words - or you over-rule your intuition with your intellect, logic or reason? Do you ignore whims or promise yourself you'll follow up on them "later?"

These aligned opportunities won't be there later. They are a sublime confluence of you being in the right place at the right time, right here, right now.

Ram Dass says, "Our plans never turn out as TASTY as reality."

Agreed.

From now on, choose to partner with life instead of trying to plan every minute of it.

Act on your instincts. Listen to the whims. Understand nudges, whims and instincts are trying to do you a favor. They have your best interests at heart. Honor them.

What River Runs Through Your Life?

Did you see the movie A River Runs Through It? starring Brad Pitt, Craig Sheffer, Tom Skerritt ... and the beautiful Gallatin River? I've promised myself a trip to Montana (where many of the fly-fishing scenes were shot) this summer as part of My Year by the Water.

Ever since I saw that movie, I've thought about the themes - the rivers - that run through my life.

For example, I'm here in sunny Savannah, Georgia on the waterfront this weekend, and the river running through this experience is ‪#‎entrepreneurship‬.

I've had the pleasure and privilege of being an entrepreneur for 30 years.

I love having autonomy and the freedom to get an idea, run with it  and turn it into a reality ... with no committees, red-tape or bureaucracy.

As Katherine Graham of the Washington Post put it, "To do work you love that matters with people you enjoy and respect; how could anything be more fun?"

That's the back-story and driving motivation of three entrepreneurs I met at the Springtime Craft Show held next door to where I'm staying at The Westin Savannah Harbor Golf Resort & Spa at the Savannah International Trade & Convention Center.

First is Lisa Schalk of Toffee To Go. A stay-at-home mom, she started making home-made toffee from a family recipe for Christmas presents. Recipients begged her to make more so they could gift it to their friends and family.

Her different flavors of toffee got such raves, she started going to weekend arts/crafts fairs where it kept selling out. She told her husband Jim, a hospitality executive at the time, "I think we've really got something here."

He thought people were just being "nice," until he went to an event and witnessed for himself the overwhelmingly enthusiastic response. Lisa and Jim decided to gamble on themselves and their product.  He quit his job and they went all in, full-time.

Fast forward. They've just bought a 16,000 foot warehouse, have been featured in Oprah Winfrey's Christmas issue, and they ship to corporate clients around the country. http://www.toffeetogo.com/about-us/

Lisa told me, "People tell us, 'Oh, you're so lucky that Oprah's Favorite Things found you." She smiled and said, "Luck is a lot of 2 a.m. nights, but it's worth it."

Next is the lovely Lynn Shore with her one-of-a-kind art-wear. Lynn told me, "My grandmother, who had the patience of Job, taught me to knit when I was eight. I started hand-crafting gifts for friends, and realized, 'This isn't just a hobby; it's a business.'

Over the years, I expanded into purses and clothing. Then I discovered these," she said, holding up a knitted necklace/scarf in her hands. "These don't have to fit," she said with a twinkle in her eye. "No more sleeve measurements. It's even more fun."

And yes, I bought some white chocolate-macademia nut toffee and a multi-color scarf/necklace:-)  Support ‪#‎SmalllBusiness‬!

I asked Lynn (who used to go to 42 ‪#‎festivals‬ a year, but has since scaled down), "What do you like best about them?"

"I am inspired by the creativity of humanity," she said. "It's a blessing to be here."

Next is the "Pretty Darn Good" salsa couple.  They created their own special blend with beans, corn, cilantro and secret ingredients for a Super Bowl party. Everyone loved it. They started making bigger and bigger batches. After retiring (he was a school teacher for decades), they now hit the road every weekend. He says, "It may be 8 degrees back home, but we know we'll be in Florida that Friday-Sunday visiting our daughter, meeting all kinds of interesting people and hearing their stories, while financing our retirement."

To come full circle, while researching A River Runs Through It, I discovered some intriguing entrepreneurial back-stories about how the book got published and the movie got made.

The author of the book, Norman Maclean, often recounted how his semi-autobiographical novella was rejected by every large commercial publisher he sent it to, including one that rejected it on the basis that it contained "too many trees". It was eventually published by the University of Chicago Press (in 1976) and went on to become an evergreen and a much-respected classic.

Director Robert Redford was an entrepreneur too; he courted Norman Maclean for years before finally gaining the rights to film the project.

So, what are the rivers that run through these ‪#‎entrepreneurial‬ success stories ?

Create something unique and exceptional and more people will want more of it.

Persevere when you believe something has value and you can ultimately prevail.

If you do the above, you too can turn a hobby into a business - a dream into reality.

You too can have the blessing of doing work you love that matters with people you enjoy and respect ... and get paid for it.

You too can introduce something to the world that puts the lights on in your eyes - and in the eyes of others.

What fun!

So, what are the rivers that are running through your life?

Sighs of SerenDestiny

Soaking in the sun here in Wailea Beach, Maui as part of My Year by the Water.

Glorying in the whales playing, spouting and breaching off shore.

Reveling in the soft air, gentle trades, stately royal palms and melodic Hawaiian music in the background.

Gazing out at the deep blue ocean, with Molokini and Turtle Town in the distance.

Weaving infinity loops with my arms while treading water in the infinity pool.

Immersed in this sweet much-welcomed state of writing reverie.

Energized by the centuries-old power and mass of Haleakala behind me, secure in knowing it has my back.

Aaaahhhh-ll is right with the world.

I keep breathing deep, heartfelt sighs of contentment. They just well up in me because I am so wonderfully happy here.

Then I saw this insightful article in this morning's The Wall Street Journal about "The Science Behind the Sigh."

Journalist Kat Long reports that sighing isn't just "an emotional outlet. It's a vital biological process necessary for maintaining overall health."

Amen to that.

I'm no expert, however I've also come to understand that sighing is also a way of consciously, mindfully breathing in an experience so we more deeply appreciate it and imprint it.  Sighing is a sign of SerenDestiny.  It's a sign that, for that moment, all is right with our world.

Do you have a time or place in your life where everything feels so right,  you can't help yourself, you just find yourself breathing it all in?

Is it a park near your home?  A nearby beach, forest, hiking trail, lake path?

Where is a place the tension drains out of you?  Where do your neck and shoulders relax?  Where do you feel deeply centered?  Where do you feel aahhh-ll's right with your world?

Do you have a room at home where the sun comes in?  Can you sit there, even for a few minutes, and bask in its warmth as it blesses your face, fills your soul?

One of the most important things I've learned about SerenDestiny - and how to keep the lights on in our eyes - is the importance of taking time every day to IMPRINT.

Instead of rushing through the day, getting from Point A to Point B, I make it a point to take a couple moments to look around and drink it in. Especially if I'm in nature and when the sun rises, sets or breaks through the clouds.

Queen Elizabeth said, "Good memories are our second chance of happiness."

I've found that taking a few moments to bask in the sun, revel in the moment, breathe in my surroundings and sigh with the rightness of it all ...  IMPRINTS that experience so I can revisit those moments of happiness anytime I want.

It's a way to counter-act stress, a rush-rush mentality, or in the-moment frustration.  It's a way to, every day, remind myself what a blessing it is to be alive.

So, where do you go to sigh?   Where do you go to bask in the sun and feel warmed by its blessing?  What do you do to pause, imprint, and breathe in all that's right with your world?

Rocking Chair Wisdom

"The trouble is, you think you have time." -Buddha

I met someone at Hilton Head Island, South Carolina today, and we ended up strolling the beach together.

She was intrigued with My Year by the Water, and wanted to know the catalyst behind it.

I told her, "The clock is ticking, not in a morbid way, but in a motivating way."

So often we wait for the perfect circumstances to do what we really want. We wait until we "retire," until we have more money or time.

Do you know ANYONE who has more time than they used to? Plus, some people retire only to find they don't have the health or resources to do what they want.

I was also motivated by something my mom used to say.  If I talked about something I wanted to do but, for whatever reason, wasn't ... she would say, "A year from now, you'll wish you had started today."

Mom, you were so wise.

That's just one of the many reasons I started out on my YEAR BY THE WATER ... and it's one of the many reasons I'm glad I did.

If you've read Paulo Coelho's classic The Alchemist, you remember how the main character, a shepherd named Santiago, pursues his "personal legend" - the calling that motivates him to trek to the Egyptian Pyramids.   Along the way, he encounters a crystal shop owner with a fear of change who had abandoned his personal legend and who is filled with regret as a result. That part of the story is a cautionary tale of what happens when we ignore the nudges that call us.

Something that happened when I had an opportunity to present Tongue Fu!® for a Young Presidents Organization conference in Ireland also motivated me to act on my own personal legend of trekking to bodies of water and writing about them.

The YPO event was extraordinary, but what made it even more special was that, since this was a Family University, the organizers had graciously invited me to bring one of my sons with me.

Tom was tied up with his studies at VA Tech, so Andrew lucked out and got to come along and participate in some of their one-of-a-kind activities, including cycling on part of the Tour de France route.

After the event, we had two days to play.  The first day, we toured Dublin and Andrew had his first (official) beer in the 360 degree view, floor-to-ceiling windowed bar atop the Guinness factory.

That night, we brainstormed what to do the following day.  I went online, explored options, then looked up and said, "We could go to Paris for a day."

"For 24 hours?!" Andrew asked incredulously. "That's not enough time."

"Andrew, someday we're going to be old and sitting on a porch in our rocking chairs. And we could either say, 'Remember what a great time we had in Paris?' or we could say, 'Remember that time we had a chance to go to Paris ... and didn't go?"

He got it, grinned and said, "Book it!"

The next morning, we flew to Paris, and strolled along the Champs de Elysee, posed under the Arc de Triomphe, marveled at the Eiffel Tower and enjoyed a  sublime croque monsieur at a quintessential Parisian sidewalk café. We even had a chance to tour The Lourve.  Andrew stopped at one point, shook his head and said, "Mom, where's all the famous art?  I haven't seen any."

I laughed out loud, "Andrew, turn around."  He was standing in front of the Venus de Milo.

Andrew and I often think back to how much fun we had in Paris. And we realize that what mattered wasn't  how much time we had there, what matters is that we had time there.

How about you? What do you really want to do? What's calling you?  What's your personal legend? What are you waiting for?

Take another look at those rocking chairs at the top of this post.  Someday, when you're sitting in a rocking chair, what will you wish you had done? What will you regret not doing or pursuing? What will you be glad you did?  Set it in motion ... today.

Addendum:  Didn't know when I was writing this that some new science is supporting the motivating benefits of considering our mortality.  Check out this article in the New York Times: Be Happy, Think About Your Death.

In it, reporter Arthur C. Brooks says, "Paradoxically, meditation on death can be a key to better living. It makes one ask, 'Am I making the right use of my scarce and precious life?'"

The bottom line?  Instead of wondering or worrying how much time you have, simply choose to make the most of the time you do have.  You'll never regret answering your calling; you'll only regret not answering it ... sooner.

Sam Horn -  Intrigue Expert, TEDx speaker, author of IDEApreneur, Tongue Fu! and Washington Post bestseller Got Your Attention? -  has the best of all worlds.  She's trekking to bodies of water and writing about them while continuing to do work she loves, speaking for such clients as National Geographic, Boeing, Cisco, Intel, Capital One, and helping consulting clients craft one-of-a-kind projects that scale their impact - for good.

Surf the S Curve

"The only danger is not to evolve." - Jeff Bezos I had the privilege of interviewing author-keynoter-thought leader Whitney Johnson about her new book Disrupt Yourself.

She has a profound story to tell - and provocative insights to share - about the importance of changing your personal and professional life ... even when there's nothing wrong.

For example, she walked away from a 7-figure salary, billionaire clients and a Wall Street job as the top-ranked analyst in her field for Merrill Lynch.

Why did she "risk" leaving her comfortable, cushy, hard-earned position of power and prestige?

Because she wanted to become an entrepreneur, and because she agrees with what Helen Keller said, "Life is either a daring adventure or nothing at all."

In her previous book Dare, Dream, Do, Whitney explored the multi-faceted benefits of being daring and showed how to embrace it rather than avoid it.

In her latest book, Whitney makes a compelling case that a richer, more rewarding life waits for us on the far side of our comfort zone. She's speaking from experience as that "risk" to leave Wall Street has resulted in her being selected as a finalist for the Top Thinkers on Talent at the biennial Thinkers 50 ceremony in London.

Whitney's insightful message has perfect timing as we head into a new year.

What if, instead of making resolutions - which studies show are rarely sustained and rarely produce real-world results - we make disruptions?

Disruptions are about doing something differently.  In fact, Whitney uses her extensive and impressive background in finance to pose a startling premise:

If we want to scale significant personal and professional success, we cannot be content to stick to what's safe.  We must be willing to sacrifice the status quo to surf the S Curve of disruption.

Her excellent book Disrupt Yourself offers a 7 -step methodology for doing just that.

In addition to our interview, I had the pleasure of listening to Whitney's book as I drove across the country as part of My Year By the Water.  (Yes, I am practicing what Whitney is teaching. I disrupted my life, gave away most of my possessions, and am traveling around North America to reflect upon and write about the metaphorical insights that can be learned from bodies of water.)

I've  developed some questions we can ask ourselves to see where we could replace defaults with disruptions.

You might want to print these out and take them - and a friend or business colleague - to lunch.  Discuss them at your next staff meeting and brainstorm what you and your organization will dare to do differently in 2016.

1.  Do I want a comfortable life or a creative life?  Do we want a comfortable organization or a creative one? 

Where am I doing the same old thing?  Where are we sticking to status quo habits and routines that no longer serve us?

2.  Where am I playing it safe in my personal life?  Where are we playing it safe in our organization?  At what cost? 

We can be complacent or we can become continuous learners.  Where can I stretch myself and try something new?  Where can we take an informed risk and experiment with a fresh, more innovative approach?

3.  Where did I "fail" in 2015?  What is something that didn't work out the way I (we) expected?  What did I (we) learn from that?  How can I (we) move forward and be better because of that experience?

Whitney dedicates a whole chapter to "Give Failure Its Due" and shows how failures are mistakes only when we don't learn from them.

4.  What do I want more of?  What is something else - something additional - we could offer our customers and employees?

One of my most important lessons-learned from my YEAR BY THE WATER is,  You don't want or need to wait for something to go wrong to embark upon what feels even more right. 

In other words, we don't have to be sick to get better. Whitney loved her work as a Wall Street analyst. There wasn't anything missing; she just felt there could be more.

Me too.  I loved my life living on a lake near Washington DC.  I was speaking, coaching and writing; doing it with people I enjoyed and respected;  and getting paid for it.  What could be better?

The thing is, I didn't know what could be better ... because I wasn't doing anything differently.

I've been doing the same thing for 20+ years.  And I loved it.

But the clock is ticking.  And if we agree with Helen Keller, we choose to be adventurous instead of sticking with the status quo. We choose to disrupt our norms and experiment with our life because we're supposed to evolve, not do the same thing year after year after year.

5.  Are we planning what to do next or are partnering with what wants to happen next?

This has probably been my most profound epiphany this past year.

For many of us, control is our default. We seek to control our schedule, our career trajectory, our business success.

I have learned that trying to control life is an exercise in frustration and myopic.  It is far more visionary and enlightened to cooperate with life rather than try to control it.

To cooperate with life, we must deliberately leave open space in our calendar. Open hours or days leave room for the unexpected.  They leave room for unanticipated events, opportunities and individuals to come into our life (or business) that make it infinitely more rewarding than if it goes according to script and "as planned."

New years are opportunities for fresh starts. How will you surprise yourself this year?  How will you surprise your kids, partner, customers, employees,colleagues?   How will you surf the S Curve of Disruption, replace defaults with discoveries, and create an innovative life instead of sticking with the status quo?

-     -     -     -     -     -

Sam Horn, Intrigue Expert, TEDx speaker and communication strategist, helps people create one-of-a-kind projects - presentations, funding pitches, books and brands - that scale their impact for good. Her work- including Washington Post bestseller Got Your Attention?, POP! and Tongue Fu!® -  has been featured on NPR and MSNBC and in New York Times, Fast Company, Forbes, INC.com.  Her presentations receive rave reviews from such clients as National Geographic, Cisco, EO, Capital One, NASA and the Asian Leadership Conference.

Parting is Such Sweet Gratitude

“If the only prayer you ever said was ‘thank you,’ that would be enough.” – Meister Eckhart First, thanks to the many of you who got in touch as a result of our last newsletter to share your recommendations for “My Year by the Water.”I have been incredibly moved by your heart-warming emails and invitations to:

• Meet for a guided walk around Walden Pond (that would be a yes)
• Stay at a cottage in Helen Keller's hometown (another yes). After all, Helen was the one who said, “Life is either a daring adventure or nothing at all."
• Co-host writer's retreats in Pebble Beach, at Wellesley College, Lake Michigan and Chesapeake Bay
• Visit Whidbey Island, Niagara Falls, Bonita Springs, President's Channel on Orca's Island and a refurbished water tower in Mendocino County.

My sister Cheri has been fielding your responses while I’ve been experiencing, first-hand, the benefits of Maria Kondo’s bestselling book The Life-Changing Joys of Tidying Up.

Once I’m on the road, I’ll be responding personally to your gracious invitations and figuring out how and when we can connect on my travels. For now, I am “releasing” 95% of the belongings I’ve collected over the past 12 years here in Reston.  Suffice it to say, it’s been an eye-opening experience.Heartfelt thanks to Mary Loverde (author of the Invitation and I Used to Have a Handle on Life, But It Broke) for helping me adopt a “feng shui” mindset. That means, we only keep things in our home and life that are beautiful, meaningful and functional.  If you touch a “possession,” and it doesn’t spark joy or have a significant story, it can be passed along and paid forward.

That philosophy is great in theory. It can be a challenge to pull off in practice.

What finally made these decisions easier was when Mary suggested I change the questions I was asking. For example, instead of asking, “Do you know how much I paid for this?!”… better questions were, “When was the  last time I wore this? How often do I use this? Yes, it’s lovely ... does it deserve to be stored away, sitting in a POD for a year?"

Once I adopted this mindset, I experienced the “life-changing joy of letting go.” It became clear that the compulsion to hang on to stuff can be unhealthy and counter-productive.  Keeping things because they “cost a lot of money” can bog us down.  Moving things out can be a freeing catalyst for moving forward.

Still, I was feeling some nostalgia as I went for a walk on neighboring paths for the “last time.” I felt a little sad saying good bye to the home I lived in for years.

Then, I remembered Meister Eckhart’s quote and I had an epiphany.

What if, instead of feeling sorrow for letting things go ... I felt grateful and let things go?

Now, as I donate items to Goodwill and gift the majority of my possessions to friends, I look around with gentle joy in my heart. I feel no conflict. No regrets. Only peace.

“Thank you favorite chair, for the many happy hours I spent in you in my morning ritual, sitting in the sun and reading the paper with a cup of coffee in my hand and my dog in my lap."

“Thank you Lake Audubon for your daily reminders of what’s right in the world, for your inspiration as I woke up to you, walked around you, wrote while looking at you, and swam in you.”

"Thank you pots, pans, dishes and glasses for the many meals you helped me create for laughter-filled gatherings with family, friends, and clients."

Thank you Mary for changing this experience from one of sadness and sorrow to one of appreciation and anticipation. For helping me free up space for new experiences , new adventures, and new relationships.

How about you? Are you parting with something?  Are you feeling sadness or sorrow? Could you instead feel gratitude, which could provide a sweet closure and free you up to move forward to what’s next?